This post isn’t about habits and practices to achieve something, but rather being hopeful during the times of distress, darkness and when our heart is broken. Being hopeful isn’t easy when we are discouraged and disappointed. If ever you feel emotionally down, I encourage you to just be with your emotions and cry if you want to. Call a trusted person if you need to talk it out. Write about your hurt. There’s no timeline for the emotional processing and there shouldn’t be. Take whatever amount of time you need to embrace the suck, and then try to find to some hope for betterment of future.
I hope this post brings some hope to you if you are feeling discouraged in some way, if you’re having not-so-good day, or in any situation. Hope is completely free to tap into. Hope will serve you the best when you only feel your unpleasant emotions. Departing from the sad emotions and trying to feel hopeful seems to me a divorce from yourself and from your emotions.
Below, you’re going to read my free flow journaling after a hurtful episode right after an enjoying experience. Shouldn’t life to be experienced in all its flavors? My hope for you to find solace inside you. Here it starts…
“I was feeling in flow, enjoying singing and dancing by the pool. Then, all of a sudden, I felt rejected. This particular woman didn’t want to see me again. I really felt deep hurt, disappointed.
I just feels like to start all over again with the new person. I see a ray of light followed by the anxiousness of what will happen next. The ray of light brings a sense of hope, hope of love, connection, physical and emotional intimacy, and sexual intimacy. And, again, I see the dark clouds.
Sadness pour into my heart. I cry. I look back in life and feel the same patterns repeating itself. I feel hopeless. I ask myself – will I ever find a loving partner? I question myself. I doubt myself.
On one hand, I really want to feel my emotions and just cry. On another hand, I hear a voice to be strong, courageous, and hopeful. I ask – how long should I be hopeful? I don’t know the answer. Every time, the hopes to meet someone get shattered and my heart gets broken into small pieces. I feel the disappointments.
I know, sometime soon, I will see a ray of hope and collect the broken pieces of my heart. I know, I will start again on the journey of seeking happy and healthy love.
Now, I take a stand to heal my broken courage. I am showing courage to let my heart break into pieces, and to see hope for love over and over. Every darkness is followed by light. Every light is followed by darkness.
It’s the courage to swing between light and dark. I see myself on the dark end of this spectrum of life. I am telling myself to be hopeful again because light awaits for me on the other end. I get to be patient, allow myself to feel the pain of this wound – the pain of broken heart.
The more I feel, I more I see the light, the hope, and the courage to start walking again. Every night is followed by morning. Every morning is followed by the night. I could feel her touch, her kiss, and tears rolled over my cheeks.
I shouted – why does this happen to me again and again? I feel rejected. I switch off the room lights and just want to cry. It’s dark and lonely and I only see the clouds of sadness. I couldn’t change what happened.
I see courage and I’m willing to show up again.
Grief always come uninvited when someone leaves you even after one meeting. I want to surrender. I want to let it go. I am on my feet again with confidence, hope and courage to do it again. I feel OK to let myself wound, and do it again and again with hope.
I am hopeful. I am courageous.”
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