“With all of the darkness you may be walking through, it’s good to remember that where there is no light, you have the choice to become it.”
“Love is unconditional, but relationships are not.”
Katherine Woodward Thomas
Katherine Woodward Thomas is the New York Times bestselling author of Conscious Uncoupling:5 Steps to Living Happily Even After and Calling in “The One”: 7 Weeks to Attracting the Love of Your Life as well as an award-winning marriage and family psychotherapist. She’s also the creator of the Conscious Uncoupling process made known by Gwyneth Paltrow and introduced a more conscious, creative and respectful way to transition out of a primary love relationship.
Katherine also trains and certifies people to become Certified Calling in “The One” Coaches and/or Conscious Uncoupling Coaches and provides ongoing supervision and development to a vibrant community of her coaches from around the world.
Over the past two decades, Katherine has had the honor of teaching hundreds of thousands of people from all corners of the globe to create conscious, loving relationships and to realize the higher potentials all their connections hold for health and happiness. Katherine is a featured teacher with the international transformational educational giant, Mindvalley, and she’s appeared multiple times on The Today Show with Savannah Guthrie, been written about in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The London Times, and many other media outlets as well as being a featured guest on Maria Shriver’s Architects of Change series.
In her spare time, she loves to sing, play the flute and write lyrics. She’s a Billboard-charting, #1 iTunes jazz artist with her CD, Lucky in Love which was co-written and co-produced with The Koren Brothers.
This podcast is brought to you byNewsletter. If you’d like to learn more about what I am reading, new documentaries, what I am learning new, recent podcast updates, things I am experimenting with, or anything —which I share extensively in my weekly short and sweet “Friday Newsletter”. No spam ever! I hate that too!
“Trauma isn’t what happens to you, it’s what happens inside you.”
– Gabor Maté
Lisa Scott is a licensed professional counselor and host of her own podcast, What’s Next With Lisa Scott. Lisa is well known for her solution-based and client-focused style of therapy. Aside from hosting her own podcast, Lisa owns a private practice and is a professor of psychology. With over fifteen years of experience as a mental health professional and experience ranging from crisis intervention in a clinical setting to working with families and individuals, Lisa’s passion and focus remain on empowering people to establish healthy loving relationships not only with themselves but with others in their life.
Lisa’s podcast is for all ages and all walks all life. If you’re human this podcast is for you. Lisa Scott is a licensed professional counselor who has developed techniques to start living a more authentic, fulfilled life, by taking common theories from the therapy world and making them relatable and something people can connect to. Anger, sadness, anxiety, self-worth, authenticity, and how to take your power back are just some of the concepts she discusses.
This podcast is brought to you byNewsletter. If you’d like to learn more about what I am reading, new documentaries, what I am learning new, recent podcast updates, things I am experimenting with, or anything —which I share extensively in my weekly short and sweet “Friday Newsletter”. No spam ever! I hate that too!
As part of my morning routine, I love writing down my thoughts and they just flow through me. In this post, I mention some of the things I wrote in the mornings – these cover healing, inner-work, my childhood realizations, relationships, and more. I also add some great short writings from other authors that I’ve enjoyed. Personally, I created this post for myself to review some of the short paragraphs written by me and others. Why lose the track of thoughts? If at least one other person can benefit from this post, that’s all it matters to me.
Let’s begin:
“Spaciousness allows me to listen to my inner voice, my body, and the emotions I’m going through. To do nothing can be a challenge for some. I still struggle with doing nothing at times. While growing up, I never learned how to relax, how to enjoy the holidays, and mistakenly considered free time with boredom.Life isn’t rosy and flowery every day. I can choose the meaning I want to give. I can choose how I want to live. I can choose to create new possibilities even when I am afraid. I can choose to give way to my passion. I can choose to be with the unpleasantries of life. I can choose to stay with “It is what it is”. I can choose not to resist reality. I can choose and so can you.”
“I dislike the word ‘toxic’ when used to describe a human, attribute, or experience. The so-called ‘toxic’ behavior is usually a decontextualized threat response; usually a result of relational trauma or disempowerment. So when we label this person toxic, we disempower them further and perpetuate a systemic cycle of disconnection and shame.” — Natalia Rachel
“If you focus on what you have, you gain what you lack. And if you focus on what you lack, you lose what you have.” — Greg McKeown
“You can always look into the past. Past can never be changed, nor will the same experiences – good or bad will never occur again in the same exact fashion. I am looking at the past and smiling at it, and saying thank you for being a wonderful teacher. I don’t wish to have bad times for myself and others. I’ll say that I’ve learned the most and have grown tremendously in moments of emotional pain, breakdowns, and heartaches. Crises are the invitation to go within for introspection, learn and grow. Let’s enjoy and cherish the good times. Good or bad are just labels and are temporary. Good is followed by bad. Bad is followed by good.”
“I have to admit that I go through my own loneliness and depressive episodes. There are times I feel empty inside of myself. But, I don’t judge myself for anything. I seek ways to come back to the normal emotional and mental states of being. It’s Ok to feel low. There is always going to be low when you want to feel high. You can’t live in one state forever. If you laugh, you will cry. If you are happy, you will be sad. Why not just embrace the full range of emotions and be just human?”
“In times of challenging situations, ask yourself-What happened to me?-What’s my emotional reaction? How do I feel? What’s my opinion/interpretation/perception of the situation? This is a Compassionate inquiry exercise from Gabor Mate.“
In the last few months, I read some great blogs to improve our loving relationship. These blogs are based on “claiming our sovereignty“, “communicating needs”, “accepting our partner’s needs”, “balancing intimacy and independence”, “the pathway to bliss”, “tools for communication and conflict resolution“, and finally “building rituals for healthy relationships”.
Below is a list of these blogs and I hope that you will gain deeper understanding about relationships as much as I did. I like to keep track of things I am learning on a daily/weekly basis before I forget. The truth is we all learn several things and if we don’t track, we won’t remember.
I am putting this post so that whenever I need to work on relationships(during struggle), I can open up my own blog and quickly recall things. I always believe in creating posts for myself first because when I am excited, I know I can get at least one person excited to read my post. Not trying to create posts for imaginary audience. Period!
Now, without further rant, please enjoy the learnings and share with others.
What if we claim (and honor) sovereignty in our relationships?: To claim sovereignty means that I get to decide what happens to my body, heart, and mind. It means that I have agency and autonomy and am not controlled or manipulated by anyone. I get to make my own decisions and live with the consequences. I get to choose who I am in relationship with and how much space to give them in my life. I can choose to end relationships that cause me harm and walk away from situations and communities that don’t honor my sovereignty.
How to communicate your needs in a relationship: You have a right to ask for the things you need in a relationship. In fact, you have a responsibility to yourself and your partner to be clear about your needs. You are the expert on yourself. No one else, not even your partner, can read your mind and know what you need in the way of support, intimate contact, time alone, domestic order, independence, sex, love, financial security, and so on. So if articulating your needs isn’t something you’ve felt comfortable doing, how do you start going about it? And how do you do it in a way that doesn’t create defensiveness and anger, and offers the best chance of your partner being willing to listen and fulfill that need?
Why you need to accept your partner’s needs? : In this post, you will learn about “our core needs are not negotiable”, “how our needs get met is negotiable”, “lasting relationships require flexibility”, and much more.
“Instead of asking “How’s life treating you?”, ask yourself – “how’re you treating life”?
Bryan E. Robinson is a licensed psychotherapist and author of two novels and 40 nonfiction books. He applies his experiences to crafting insightful nonfiction self-help books and psychological thrillers. His multi-award winning southern noir murder mystery, Limestone Gumption, won the New Apple Book Medal for best psychological suspense, the Silver IPPY Award for outstanding mystery of the year, the Bronze Foreword Review INDIEFAB Book Award for best mystery, and the 2015 USA Regional Excellence Book Award for best fiction in the Southeast.
His most recent release isDaily Writing Resilience: 365 Meditations and Inspirations for Writers (Llewellyn Worldwide, 2018). He has written for Psychology Today, First for Women, and Natural Health, and his blogs and columns for writers appear in Southern Writer’s Magazine. He is a consulting editor for The Big Thrill, the online magazine for International Thriller Writers. His long-selling book,Chained to the Desk, is now in its 3rd Edition (New York University Press, 1998, 2007, 2014). His books have been translated into thirteen languages, and he has appeared on every major television network: 20/20, Good Morning America, ABC’s World News Tonight, NBC Nightly News, NBC Universal, The CBS Early Show, CNBC’s The Big Idea. He hosted the PBS documentary, Overdoing It: How to Slow Down and Take Care of Yourself.
This podcast is brought to you byNewsletter. If you’d like to learn more about what I am reading, new documentaries, what I am learning new, recent podcast updates, things I am experimenting with, or anything —which I share extensively in my weekly short and sweet “Friday Newsletter”. No spam ever! I hate that too!
Could you please share about your love for hiking?
When you speak of doing nothing, in the area of doing nothing, do you think we can watch TV? Can we read books or just nothing?
Difference between old Bryan and the newer version of Bryan?
Do you have any formal meditation practice?
I would like us to explore more on the work addiction and workaholism aspect. So when you found yourself addicted to work, what did it give you? What did you feel emotionally?
Relationship with spouse
I want to ask you about more on addiction. So there is always a source. There’s always a cause that goes back to childhood for any addiction. Would do you mind talking about more on the causes of your work addiction?
I think in 2018, you wrote a blog, the five reasons relationships fail. If you remember, could you elaborate on some of the reasons why relationships fail? One of the reasons it’s work addiction.So in general, why relationships fail? If you could shed some light?
I want to go back to the topic of addiction. So when you found yourself addicted, what measures or what actions did you take to break through this pattern?
When you work with addicted people in your psychotherapy practice, what common symptoms have you observed in them?
Could you please describe about the Internal Family Systems(IFS) therapy?
What do you mean by thanking those internal pars in IFS therapy?
Letting go of the parts that don’t serve us
How did you help Alanis Morissette in her recovery?
Difference between addiction and workaholism?
What books have inspired you the most?
And, much more
The Nishant Garg Show:
This show is about helping you live a fulfilled life and my job on this show is to sit with the world class experts to extract the practices, routines and habits to help you live a fulfilled and abundant life. For any question, please contact me.
If you have enjoyed listening to my podcasts, please subscribe to the new podcast updates on Itunes please provide your reviews on Itunes which will really help me. Subscribe to the Newsletter. You won’t be spammed! I hate spams too! You will receive only one email every Friday on the latest published podcasts.
If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in growing this little show. I also love reading reviews! Instructions are: a)If you’re on an iPhone, simply scroll down to “Reviews” inside the Podcasts app. b) If you’re on a desktop, click on “Listen on Apple Podcasts” under “The Nishant Garg Show.” Once inside iTunes, click on “Ratings and Reviews” and you’re set.
Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindfulness mentor, host of the Mindful Mama podcast, creator of the Mindful Parenting course, and author of the book, Raising Good Humans. She helps parents bring more calm into their daily lives and cooperation in their families. Hunter has over twenty years of experience in meditation and yoga practices and has taught mindfulness to thousands worldwide. She is the mother of two active daughters, who challenge her everyday to hone her craft!
In this episode, Hunter discusses about parenting, her own childhood and upbringing, relationship with her dad, how to show empathy with children, on raising good humans, and much much more.. She also mentions how she is inspired by Buddhist monk Thick Nhat Hanh and Dr. Wayne Dyer. Without further ado, please enjoy this wide ranging conservation.
This podcast is brought to you byNewsletter. If you’d like to learn more about what I am reading, new documentaries, what I am learning new, recent podcast updates, things I am experimenting with, or anything —which I share extensively in my weekly short and sweet “Friday Newsletter”. No spam ever! I hate that too!
If I were to ask your daughters, how would they describe what does mama do?
When you say mindful mentor or mindful parenting, what do you mean by that?
I want to ask you about your own childhood. What was your relationship like with your dad specifically?
Do you remember any memorable conversation with your dad that may have had the positive impact in your life?
What is your current meditation practice?
Are you watching any specific movie or documentary on Netflix?
You mentioned about plum village. Do you follow any specific teacher?
Do you remember any specific book or books from Thick Nhat Hanh that you enjoy reading or had made the most impact on you?
How did you get introduced into the mindfulness world at the age of 17?
Talking about what was going on when you were 17 – you mentioned that you were desperate, you were not feeling good. What happened?
I have some research that if a woman doesn’t have a good relationship with her dad, she might treat her partner, romantic partner, not in a good way unless she has done some therapeutic work. How has that sort of relationship showed up with your spouse?
What do you mean by grounding relationship with your husband?
How do you distribute your parenting responsibilities with their partner? And I’m sure a lot of listeners would want to know that when we have children, how do we talk about dividing or distributing child responsibilities – who should do this, who should do that? And what kind of a conversation we should have with a partner?
With children comes a lot of responsibilities and sometimes parents forget to focus on themselves. Right? So how should couples focus on themselves and still work on their romantic relationship?
How do you define happiness for you and for your life?
You are an artist you enjoy painting, and this topic has come up many times. So I’m curious to ask you, could you expand more on your artistic view of life and your painting as a painter? How do you see life and what kind of painting do you do now?
I want to ask you about empathy. Children live in a very different world. And how does someone practice empathy with them or how do you practice good communication, empathy with your own children?
What is your sleep routine?
In the preparation of this conversation, I found your Huffington post, which you wrote back in 2017 or 2018, and it is about expansion and contraction. So I’ve read that article and I understand that, but could you briefly describe about expansion and contraction to our listeners?
What is your relationship with Wayne Dyer?
And, much more
The Nishant Garg Show:
This show is about helping you live a fulfilled life and my job on this show is to sit with the world class experts to extract the practices, routines and habits to help you live a fulfilled and abundant life. For any question, please contact me.
If you have enjoyed listening to my podcasts, please subscribe to the new podcast updates on Itunes please provide your reviews on Itunes which will really help me. Subscribe to the Newsletter. You won’t be spammed! I hate spams too! You will receive only one email every Friday on the latest published podcasts.
If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in growing this little show. I also love reading reviews! Instructions are: a)If you’re on an iPhone, simply scroll down to “Reviews” inside the Podcasts app. b) If you’re on a desktop, click on “Listen on Apple Podcasts” under “The Nishant Garg Show.” Once inside iTunes, click on “Ratings and Reviews” and you’re set.
Debbie Millman : Named “one of the most creative people in business” by Fast Company, and “one of the most influential designers working today” by Graphic Design USA, Debbie Millman is also an author, educator, curator and host of the podcast Design Matters. As the founder and host of Design Matters, one of the world’s first and longest running podcasts, Millman has interviewed nearly 500 artists, designers and cultural commentators over the past 14 years. Debbie has interviewed guests including Tim Ferriss, Malcolm Gladwell, Marina Abramovic, Steven Pinker, Shepard Fairey, Laurie Anderson, Barbara Kruger, Amanda Palmer, Alain de Botton, Brene Brown, Hamilton Director Thomas Kail, and many, many more.
Debbie is the author of six books, including two collections of interviews that have extended the ethos and editorial vision of Design Matters to the printed page: How to Think Like a Great Graphic Designer and Brand Thinking and Other Noble Pursuits. Both books have been published in over 10 languages. She is the author of two books of illustrated essays: Look Both Ways and Self-Portrait As Your Traitor; the latter of which has been awarded a Gold Mobius, a Print Typography Award, and a medal from the Art Directors Club. Her artwork from these books have been included in the Boston Biennale, Chicago Design Museum, Anderson University, School of Visual Arts, Long Island University, The Wolfsonion Museum, the Czong Institute for Contemporary Art and more.
Debbie’s illustrations have appeared in publications such as The New York Times, New York Magazine, Print Magazine, Design Observer and Fast Company. In 2009 Debbie co-founded the world’s first graduate program in branding at the School of Visual Arts in New York City. Now in its ninth year, the program has achieved international acclaim.
Debbie is currently working with Law & Order SVUactor and activist Mariska Hargitay’s Joyful Heart Foundation to eradicate sexual assault, domestic violence, child abuse and the rape-kit backlog.
This podcast is brought to you byNewsletter. If you’d like to learn more about what I am reading, new documentaries, what I am learning new, recent podcast updates, things I am experimenting with, or anything —which I share extensively in my weekly short and sweet “Friday Newsletter”. No spam ever! I hate that too!
You graduated in 1983, and you were majored in English and you had a minor in Russian literature. So I want to ask you, did you speak Russian or did you write or both?
What do you love about Russian literature?
How have you stayed in your team in 2020 during coronavirus? How were you hopeful in 2020?
Do you still have the dog Duff?
Whenever challenges come in our life. How do you cultivate the art of being thankful and grateful? Does it come naturally to you or do you have to practice on a constant basis?
What makes a good therapist and what is your relationship with therapy these days?
What is it that resonate with you the most with your therapy?
What is your frequency of visiting your therapist per week per month?
At what point did you realize that you needed to work on yourself in terms of emotional wellbeing or working with a therapist?
Did you ask your friend that what makes others or him feel jealous of you?
Do you have any advice or recommendation for somebody who is afraid of finding a therapist or seeking therapy to uncover the layers in their life?
What does your self-talk look like whenever you go through those obstacles? What do you tell yourself?
What are your practices to be optimistic, hopeful, and resilient?
How would you spouse Roxanne gay would describe of what do you do for a living.
What were your first few days of dating with Roxanne like?
How did you ask her for the first date? What did you tell her to go on a first date with you?
How do you find balance between showing your masculinity at your workplace and being feminine in your personal life, in your relationship, in your romantic relationship?
how do you communicate your differences or unpleasant emotions and feelings with your partner? If that happens?
Do you have any process or mental framework to process your grief or sadness?
Could you share any good memories from your childhood?
You got remarried in 2020, what does this love feel like to you in your fifties?
What do you think makes a great relationship work? (compatibility)
How do you create that white space in your everyday life to be more creative and seek joy and fulfillment?
What kind of practices do you have in your everyday life to seek joy, fulfillment fun? What concrete practices do you have?
What is the most important aspect for someone’s growth and creativity?
Do you ever fear of not being able to repeat your success?
What is your emotional critical need in the upcoming years? What do you think you are most excited about?
This show is about helping you live a fulfilled life and my job on this show is to sit with the world class experts to extract the practices, routines and habits to help you live a fulfilled and abundant life. For any question, please contact me.
If you have enjoyed listening to my podcasts, please subscribe to the new podcast updates on Itunes please provide your reviews on Itunes which will really help me. Subscribe to the Newsletter. You won’t be spammed! I hate spams too! You will receive only one email every Friday on the latest published podcasts.
If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in growing this little show. I also love reading reviews! Instructions are: a)If you’re on an iPhone, simply scroll down to “Reviews” inside the Podcasts app. b) If you’re on a desktop, click on “Listen on Apple Podcasts” under “The Nishant Garg Show.” Once inside iTunes, click on “Ratings and Reviews” and you’re set.
The real questions are these: Can we have love and desire in the same relationship over time? How? What exactly would that kind of relationship be?
The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.
– Esther Perel
I’m a huge fan of Esther Perel ‘s work. Her book Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence is a must read for anyone single, already in relationship, or anyone in between. This book clearly explains how to create different levels of “Intimacy” and “Desire”. Desire is different from “Wanting”. You can’t desire what you already have. This book has been the revelation for me to understand the significance of separateness to create desire. Too much closeness can dissipate the desire. I think “too much” of anything isn’t good in any area of life. Too much of closeness in a relationship can cause temporary boredom. We get to learn to dance between separateness and closeness.
I contacted Esther’s team to get the permission to publish 300 words from the book Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence so that I can spread the word and help people build a deep meaningful relationships and desire for more. We need to learn the fundamentals and philosophy to enter into relationships or enhance our existing relationships. As Esther says — “The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.“
For folks who don’t know Esther, she is a Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author. Recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED talks have garnered more than 20 million views and her international bestseller Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence became a global phenomenon translated into 25 languages. Her newest book is the New York Times bestseller The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity (HarperCollins). Esther is also an executive producer and host of the popular podcast Where Should We Begin
Here is a short summary from the book:
“As a couple’s therapist, I have inverted the usual therapeutic priorities. In my field, we are taught to inquire about the state of the union first and then ask how this is manifested in the bedroom. Seen this way, the sexual relationship is a metaphor for the overall relationship. The underlying assumption is that if we can improve the relationship, the sex will follow. But in my experience, this is often not the case.
The real questions are these: Can we have love and desire in the same relationship over time? How? What exactly would that kind of relationship be?
The challenge for modern couples lies in reconciling the need for what is safe and predictable with the wish to pursue what is exciting, mysterious, and awe-inspiring.
Seeking excitement in the same relationship in which we establish permanence is a tall order. Unfortunately, too many love stories develop in such a way that we sacrifice passion as to achieve stability.
Modern life has deprived us of our traditional resources, and has created a situation in which we turn to one person for the protection and emotional connections that as multitude of social networks used to provide. Adult intimacy has become overburdened with expectations.
If we are to maintain desire with one person over time, we must be able to bring a sense of unknown into a familiar space. In the words of Proust, “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes”.
I had long assumed about the correlation between intimacy and sexuality. Rather than looking at sex as an exclusive outgrowth of the emotional relationship, I have come to see it as a separate entity. Sexuality is more than a metaphor for the relationship – it stands on its own as a parallel narrative.”
This show is about extracting information on Mindfulness, Personal Development, Spirituality. I am on a mission to spread Mindfulness and I’d love for you to join me in this movement. For any question, please contact me. If you have enjoyed listening to my podcasts, please subscribe to the new podcast updates on Itunes please provide your reviews on Itunes which will really help me. S
This podcast is brought to you byFriday Newsletter. If you’d like to learn more about what I am reading, new documentaries, what I am learning new, recent podcast updates, things I am experimenting with, or anything —which I share extensively in my weekly short and sweet “Friday Newsletter”. No spam ever! I hate that too!
