Introverts in Tech – The Blog of Nishant Garg

What You Want Wants You and Accessing the Internal Feelings

Hey Friends, I hope you’re well. I wrote these musings while getting high on coffee in the morning and thinking life. These cover anger, letting go, being okay with whatever arises, and communicating your needs.

Let’s begin:

“Anger is a powerful emotion. It’s human to feel anger and rage and our responsibility is to express it in a healthy way. If you heard that “good people” or “spiritually good people” don’t get angry, that’s called ‘bypassing’. If we ‘disown’ that part of our psyche that gets angry, that ‘part’ will ‘act-out’ in different weird ways. It’s human to feel anger and rage.”

“I don’t know who needs to hear this. If you are having a bad day or a bad week, everything will be alright soon. Light always follows darkness. If your week is not so productive, it’s completely ok because you will be back with much clarity and grit.

If you feel slow in achieving your desires, remember the story of tortoise and hare. You may be slow today, but you might run tomorrow, and then you may get slow again. This is life and life has its own rhythm.”

“When you don’t hold your fist too tight and try letting go, you will realize that things that really belong to you will show up at the right time. No amount of pushing will matter for things that don’t belong to us. How do we know what’s for us? Tough one. Just keep doing your best and putting one step at a time and practice a little bit of letting go and surrender.”

Light Always Follows Darkness

Hey Friends, I am excited to share some of my favorite contemplations from my favorite teachers.

Abraham Hicks: “If something you want is slow to come to you, it can only be for one reason: You are spending more time focused upon its absence than you are about its presence.”

Yung Pueblo: “You can not build a deep connection with someone who’s disconnected from themselves.”

From article: You Don’t Deserve Better – “So no, you don’t deserve better, and you don’t get a pony. Get a coach. A therapist. Find a support group. Read a book. Something! The harsh truth is that your relationships are not going to improve until you do something about it. Cancel the self-pity party and the I-Deserve-Betterpalooza. Shut down the excuse factory and put down the blame-thrower. It’s time to heal!”

Victim Mindset is Not Fixed and Keystone of Resilience

Your heart can be absolutely shattered and in sorrow, and you can continue on, you can grow, you can learn, you can find love in life. It’s a beautiful paradox of resilience of being both broken and whole at the same time, sad and hopeful, and devastated and generous. We are astonishing in our ability as human beings to hold profound experience that are seeming opposites at the same time.
Maria Sirois

This post is a selected excerpt from my interview with Maria Sirois. You can check the full interview at Dr. Maria Sirois — Overcoming Victim Mentality, Happiness in the Darkest Times, Finding Meaning in the Suffering, Lessons Learned from the Hospice Facility, and More (#129)

[Maria explaining about one of her victim experiences and how it felt to her, how she overcame it, and practical practices]

Maria: I felt powerless. I felt small. I felt like I could at any moment be tossed another terrible thing that might bring me to my knees.

Holding a victim mentality is a very disempowering feeling. And I have great compassion for those of us who, like me, are kind of wired that way.

The opposite is also beautifully true, which is that letting go of the victim mentality and really taking ownership of one’s self and one’s choices. There’s tremendous goodness that grows from that. So. I think what I most want people to know is that the victim’s stance or mindset is not fixed.

It’s not true. It’s simply one quality or one perception of experience that can be changed and can be changed at any age. I had an awakening at the age of 29 when a trusted mentor of mine had a number of conversations with me about it.

The choices I was making were to always focus on the negative, to lead from painful thoughts, to be captivated by worry, and to notice the bad in a moment or the bad in another person. And I was quite capable of noticing the good, but I tended to lead from the bad. When he reflected that back to me, I felt like I had been presented with a very painful, but clear mirror of who I was.

That was the moment I was 29 years old — I decided I didn’t want to be that woman and so I spent quite a bit of time with him and with other mentors, and a therapist, and really discussing how you change your mindset from a predominantly negative pessimistic.

The Full Body Yes(with an example)

In my interview with Scott Shute, I asked about the concept of Full Body Yes and how he beautifully explained the 4 stage process in it with an example. Scott Shute sits at the intersection of ancient wisdom traditions and the business world. He currently leads Mindfulness and Compassion programs at LinkedIn. After twenty five years of customer-oriented leadership roles, he found his dream job, where he gets to utilize his entire skill set and embrace his passions. In this work he explores the possibility of human potential, helping employees become the very best version of themselves.

Here it begins:

There is a four-part teaching arc that we go through.

1) The first stage is to really Know Yourself. You need to understand your own story, like understanding your body, why do I get upset, what do I act like when I get upset or happy or whatever it is, and understanding the external systems — who am I trained to please? When I make these decisions, who am I making these decisions for? And having a deep appreciation for your own story.

2) The second part is to Love Yourself, to see yourself as more than this body and this emotion, but to start to recognize that deepest part of yourself. And it’s that voice, that voice from that deepest part of you that we’re trying to listen to. This is where the message of the Full Body Yes comes from. But it’s that part of ourselves that we don’t access all that often.

Dr. Jacinta M. Jiménez—How Burnout Manifests and How to Prevent it

“when you stress, you must rest”

In this interview post, I sat down with Dr. Jacinta M. Jiménez (also known as “Dr. J”) an award-winning Psychologist and Board-Certified Leadership Coach with a 15+ year career dedicated to the betterment of leaders. She has worked with individuals in top organizations in Silicon Valley and throughout the world.

We discuss:

1)Difference between stress and burnout?

2)Manifestation of burnout in three components

3)Six mismatches that lead to distress

-Overwork

-Conflict of Values

-Fairless

-Lack of Reward

-Social support

– Control

4)Micro-moments of replenishment

And, now the interview begins:

How to Receive Feedback, From Whom, and What to do with it

Receiving feedback can be hard.

How can we better respond to negative feedback?

Is there a specific language to request feedback in our personal and professional life?

How should we filter those people in our lives? Whom to trust?

What makes a good feedback giver?

How not to take feedback personally?

How can we learn and grow from Feedback?

Who are our loving critics who love us no matter what and want to see the best in us?

Have you ever struggled with this? If yes, I am with you.

In this post, I interview Dr. Tasha Eurich who is an organizational psychologist, executive coach, researcher, and New York Times best-selling author. She uses science to help successful executives—from early-stage entrepreneurs to public company CEOs—achieve dramatic and measurable personal and organizational change.

Her TEDx talks have been viewed more than seven million times. As a global thought leader, Dr. Eurich has been named one of the top 30 emerging management thinkers (Thinkers50).

Now, the interview starts: