Your heart can be absolutely shattered and in sorrow, and you can continue on, you can grow, you can learn, you can find love in life. It’s a beautiful paradox of resilience of being both broken and whole at the same time, sad and hopeful, and devastated and generous. We are astonishing in our ability as human beings to hold profound experience that are seeming opposites at the same time.
[Maria explaining about one of her victim experiences and how it felt to her, how she overcame it, and practical practices]
Maria: I felt powerless. I felt small. I felt like I could at any moment be tossed another terrible thing that might bring me to my knees.
Holding a victim mentality is a very disempowering feeling. And I have great compassion for those of us who, like me, are kind of wired that way.
The opposite is also beautifully true, which is that letting go of the victim mentality and really taking ownership of one’s self and one’s choices. There’s tremendous goodness that grows from that. So. I think what I most want people to know is that the victim’s stance or mindset is not fixed.
It’s not true. It’s simply one quality or one perception of experience that can be changed and can be changed at any age. I had an awakening at the age of 29 when a trusted mentor of mine had a number of conversations with me about it.
The choices I was making were to always focus on the negative, to lead from painful thoughts, to be captivated by worry, and to notice the bad in a moment or the bad in another person. And I was quite capable of noticing the good, but I tended to lead from the bad. When he reflected that back to me, I felt like I had been presented with a very painful, but clear mirror of who I was.
That was the moment I was 29 years old — I decided I didn’t want to be that woman and so I spent quite a bit of time with him and with other mentors, and a therapist, and really discussing how you change your mindset from a predominantly negative pessimistic.
In my interview withScott Shute, I asked about the concept of Full Body Yes and how he beautifully explained the 4 stage process in it with an example. Scott Shute sits at the intersection of ancient wisdom traditions and the business world. He currently leads Mindfulness and Compassion programs at LinkedIn. After twenty five years of customer-oriented leadership roles, he found his dream job, where he gets to utilize his entire skill set and embrace his passions. In this work he explores the possibility of human potential, helping employees become the very best version of themselves.
Here it begins:
There is a four-part teaching arc that we go through.
1) The first stage is to really Know Yourself. You need to understand your own story, like understanding your body, why do I get upset, what do I act like when I get upset or happy or whatever it is, and understanding the external systems — who am I trained to please? When I make these decisions, who am I making these decisions for? And having a deep appreciation for your own story.
2) The second part is to Love Yourself, to see yourself as more than this body and this emotion, but to start to recognize that deepest part of yourself. And it’s that voice, that voice from that deepest part of you that we’re trying to listen to. This is where the message of the Full Body Yes comes from. But it’s that part of ourselves that we don’t access all that often.
“Every performance improvement anyone can want is on the other side of a better approach to the so-called negative emotions.”
“If you keep considering feelings your enemy, you are war with yourself. If you embrace your emotions as information, they become much more friendly. You actually reduce the odds of acting on them by making them explicit or conscious.”
Denise Shull is the CEO and Lead Performance Coach at the human performance and decision-making consultancy, The ReThink Group Inc. Leveraging her unique combination of expertise in Neuroeconomics and Modern Psychoanalysis she has developed The Shull Method™ a unique approach to mental skills which prioritizes emotion in the pursuit of peak performance and the resolution of psychological roadblocks.
After working at IBM, Ms. Shull’s Wall Street career began in 1994 when she traded at one of the first E-trading firms in Chicago. She moved to Schonfeld Securities before being invited to run a desk in NYC in 1997. She founded ReThink in 2003 and continued to trade financial futures through her membership at the Chicago Board of Trade through 2009.
Her 2012 book, Market Mind Games: A Radical Psychology of Investing, Trading and Risk has been reviewed as the “best of its genre” and a “veritable Rosetta Stone of trading psychology.” In 2015, Shull was invited to consult with the writers on Showtime’s drama BILLIONS and in 2016 Bloomberg Tradebook released the Trader Brain Exercise based on ReThink’s IP. In 2017, Shull and ReThink delivered HEADSx, a robust talent assessment tool used by select hedge funds to hire exceptional talent. In 2018, her work with Olympian Lindsey Jacobellis was featured in the New York Times.
A highly engaging speaker, Shull has delivered talks at NASCAR’s Hendrick MotorSports, Ontario Teachers’ Pension Plan, MIT, US Ski and Snowboard Association, Harvard Business School, CFA Societies and Leaders in Sport among others. In 2019, Shull is featured on REAL VISION – the disruptive financial TV start-up. She has also appeared on CNBC’s Halftime Report and Squawk Box both in the US and Asia. FORBES, WSJ, FT, Bloomberg Markets, and New York Times’ Dealbook have run profiles on her while FOX Business, Bloomberg, Cavuto, PBS and The Discovery Channel have also invited her commentary.
She holds a Master of Arts in neuropsychoanalysis (1995) from The University of Chicago. Her thesis research, “The Neurobiology of Freud’s Theory of the Repetition Compulsion,” was republished in 2003 in the Annals of Modern Psychoanalysis and was cited in 2013 as one of the first papers written in neuropsychoanalysis. She is also a 2009 alumnus of Harvard’s Kennedy School Executive Education program, Investment Decisions and Behavioral Finance.
This podcast is brought to you byNewsletter. If you’d like to learn more about what I am reading, new documentaries, what I am learning new, recent podcast updates, things I am experimenting with, or anything —which I share extensively in my weekly short and sweet “Friday Newsletter”. No spam ever! I hate that too!
Nina Paul is a mindfulness instructor for adults and teens. She has taught workshops in Virginia, led courses for teens in the Fairfax County school system, and is a Lecturer of Mindfulness at the George Washington University in Washington, DC, working with college students, staff, and faculty to incorporate fundamentals of mindfulness into their everyday lives.
Nina has received training in Mindfulness through UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center, Mindful Schools, the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction -Teens (MBSR-T) program, and the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine. She is trained to teach mindfulness to youth through the .b Mindfulness for Teens Curriculum certification (UK), Mindful Schools K-12th curriculum training and MINDS INC’s High School Mindfulness Curriculum Training. Nina is also a Practitioner in Training through the EFT Universe.
This podcast is brought to you byNewsletter. If you’d like to learn more about what I am reading, new documentaries, what I am learning new, recent podcast updates, things I am experimenting with, or anything —which I share extensively in my weekly short and sweet “Friday Newsletter”. No spam ever! I hate that too!
Between the period of 1994 and 1997, you were working as a Montessori teacher, educating children on being aware of their bodies to understand themselves.Could you elaborate on that experience of yourself?
How did you raise your own children and what was your parenting style?
How old were you when you entered into therapy?
After you went into therapy, what changes or breakthroughs did you observe in your own self?
What advice would you give to someone who maybe looking for a therapist?
At what point in your life did you enter into mindfulness space?
What was the underlying cause of your anxiety and distress? Was there any childhood connection?
I want to touch upon healing modalities. You have been in therapy for a while. So what different healing modalities have you tried or practiced on your own?
How do we practice Emotional Freedom Tapping(EFT) technique?
Could you describe about your meditation practice now? How much time do you spend in your meditation every day?
You mentioned that you manage your stress well now. What is your relationship with stress?
You are also an emotional resilience coach. So how do you help people?
You are also a lecturer of mindfulness at the George Washington university in Washington, DC. So what does a lecturer of mindfulness do?
Could you recommend some resources in terms of books, blogs, or online resources to live a calm better life?
And, much more
The Nishant Garg Show:
This show is about helping you live a fulfilled life and my job on this show is to sit with the world class experts to extract the practices, routines and habits to help you live a fulfilled and abundant life. For any question, please contact me.
If you have enjoyed listening to my podcasts, please subscribe to the new podcast updates on Itunes please provide your reviews on Itunes which will really help me. Subscribe to the Newsletter. You won’t be spammed! I hate spams too! You will receive only one email every Friday on the latest published podcasts.
If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in growing this little show. I also love reading reviews! Instructions are: a)If you’re on an iPhone, simply scroll down to “Reviews” inside the Podcasts app. b) If you’re on a desktop, click on “Listen on Apple Podcasts” under “The Nishant Garg Show.” Once inside iTunes, click on “Ratings and Reviews” and you’re set.
“Our parents bring us into the world, but in the end, we are responsible for what we become.“
–Khalil Gibran
Maureen Healy is an award-winning author, sought-after speaker and expert in children’s emotional health. She writes a popular blog for Psychology Today, which has reached millions worldwide. Maureen’s most recent book, The Emotionally Healthy Child (preface from Dalai Lama), won the Nautilus Book Award, Book Excellence and Forward Indie in 2019. With 15+ years of experience, Maureen has guided 1000’s of parents and their children, worked with educators globally, taught in the classroom, and given keynote talks throughout North America, Europe and Asia.
She’s also appeared across all media outlets such as: ABC’s “Midday Live” in San Francisco, New York Times and Forbes, PBS’s “This Emotional Life” series, and Scholastic magazine, as examples. Maureen’s educational credentials include a BA and MBA from Clark University in Worcester, MA and a PhD program in Child Clinical Psychology at Fielding Graduate University in Santa Barbara, CA. Additionally, Maureen has studied with happiness teachers globally, which has bolstered her joy immensely. She says, “Life is never boring,” especially as she continues to learn from every experience she has and person she meets.
In 2007, Maureen lived at the Base of the Himalayas teaching kindergarten to Tibetan refugee children and studying with His Holiness the Dalai Lama in his temple with many others.
This podcast is brought to you byNewsletter. If you’d like to learn more about what I am reading, new documentaries, what I am learning new, recent podcast updates, things I am experimenting with, or anything —which I share extensively in my weekly short and sweet “Friday Newsletter”. No spam ever! I hate that too!
Could you tell us a story about a monk and monkeys?
Did you get a chance to talk to that monk how he developed that inner confidence, clarity, calm and peace?
Why did you go to Tibet and what was your motivation?
What was the reason of their happiness in Tibet?
Who introduced you to the practice of Buddhism?
Did your parents talk about resilience, happiness, and all these practices when you were growing up?
Tell us the differences or anything that comes to your mind between Buddhism and Christianity?
Do you have any concrete Buddhism practice in your everyday life?
Could you describe in brief what chakras are?
You have a doctor degree in child clinical psychology – why did you study this? Was there anything connected to your childhood that you wanted to uncover? Why did you do that?
You mentioned about child development and I am a huge fan of Dr. Gabor Mate. What are your thoughts on parenting to develop a resilient and emotionally healthy child?
What if a child is intense and rebellious and not listening to their parents?
What was your relationship with your parents?
Is there a basic difference between emotional child and emotionally healthy child? And the reason I’m asking you because while growing up I was an emotional child, I wasn’t emotionally healthy child. I didn’t know how to process my emotions because nobody was talking about it around me. So what is the difference between emotional child and an emotionally healthy child?
A lot of families will have parent child relationship issues. So how should parent develop the awareness that they need help?
What does mindfulness for children look like? Do we have different sort of practices for children or mindfulness is the same for adults and children?
What are your personal mindfulness practices?
Every frustration and every unpleasant emotion has a trigger. What is your trigger behind your frustration when you drive car?
You were a wild child. Could you share one of your memorable childhood challenges?
You have touched upon Happiness many a times in our conversation – you also studied with the Dalai Lama. Could you share with us what is the foundation of happiness or happy life in a human being existence?
You also have a studied with many other happiness teachers globally, such as Tal Ben Shahar and many others. So what common denominator do you see among those happiness teachers who are spreading happiness and love through the world?
Do you rely on your intuition more or intellect or how do you find the balance?
I would love to ask you about some of the books that he might have gifted the most besides your own books.
I heard that you love children jokes. Do you have any joke to share with us?
and much more
The Nishant Garg Show:
This show is about helping you live a fulfilled life and my job on this show is to sit with the world class experts to extract the practices, routines and habits to help you live a fulfilled and abundant life. For any question, please contact me.
If you have enjoyed listening to my podcasts, please subscribe to the new podcast updates on Itunes please provide your reviews on Itunes which will really help me. Subscribe to the Newsletter. You won’t be spammed! I hate spams too! You will receive only one email every Friday on the latest published podcasts.
If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in growing this little show. I also love reading reviews! Instructions are: a)If you’re on an iPhone, simply scroll down to “Reviews” inside the Podcasts app. b) If you’re on a desktop, click on “Listen on Apple Podcasts” under “The Nishant Garg Show.” Once inside iTunes, click on “Ratings and Reviews” and you’re set.
I received my MA from Boston College where I studied Counseling Psychology. I then began my doctoral training at George Washington University with an emphasis on Adult Psychotherapy from a psychoanalytic perspective. Upon completion of my doctoral studies, I completed my internship and post-doctoral fellowship training at two inpatient psychiatric hospitals in the Boston area. There, I worked with people who were suffering from the most severe and retractable forms of mental illness.
Those experiences taught me the deep and enduring value of comprehensive and collaborative care from a multi-disciplinary perspective. I carry those lessons with me to my current work in my private practice, where I emphasize and utilize my partnerships with physicians, naturopaths, and functional medicine doctors and nutritionists to provide the best standard of care. In addition to my psychology training, I’ve studied extensively the use of mindfulness, functional medicine, hormones, and how food, medicine, and mood are interconnected.
My influences include Dr.’s Hyman, Benson, Kabat-Zinn, Maté, Gervais, and Gordon, as well as Tara Brach, Brené Brown, Irvin Yalom, Howard Stern, Steven Kotler, and Bruce Springsteen, to name only a few.
This podcast is brought to you byNewsletter. If you’d like to learn more about what I am reading, new documentaries, what I am learning new, recent podcast updates, things I am experimenting with, or anything —which I share extensively in my weekly short and sweet “Friday Newsletter”. No spam ever! I hate that too!
What kind of values do you talk about with your son? Or what kind of conversations do you have with your son to inculcate all these practices?
Learning from modeling others
Turning pain into energy, turn fear into energy because cause life will cripple you if you don’t.
Could you share any memorable story from your teenage years or anything that comes to your mind?
Describing about her Junior high school headmaster
Did you ever talk about your disengagement and your attitude in your family?
How do you appreciate and encourage your son because you definitely didn’t grow up in that environment?
What is your personal relationship with risk now?
In 2016 and 2016, what moved you to take risks and changes?
Did you always want to be a clinical psychologist or what events were leading up to that?
What set of emotional skills do you teach or recommend to them to master certain areas of their lives?
Could you recommend us some concrete practices in the umbrella of self regulation and mindfulness?
Diaphragmatic breathing, Mindfulness, Sleep
How do I observe myself? What should I do?
How to sit in meditation and observe your Revelations with yourself
I would love to ask you about your personal practices in the umbrella of mindfulness and self-regulation
What kind of questions do you ask yourself at this moment in your life, at present in your life?
What does a sense of wellness look like to you personally?
Listening to pain
What are the healthy ways to cope with pain and unpleasant emotions and how do you deal with it? How do you process these emotional patterns in your life?
On getting good sleep and its benefits and relationship with sleep
Somebody is not sure how to tackle all this problems. Should they go to a therapist, to a performance coach, to a flow coach? Where should people go?
Could you share what is flow? How do they get into flow?
Do you live your life by any quote or any life philosophy?
What is the specific impact to you on to leave on this world?
and much more
The Nishant Garg Show:
This show is about helping you live a fulfilled life and my job on this show is to sit with the world class experts to extract the practices, routines and habits to help you live a fulfilled and abundant life. For any question, please contact me.
If you have enjoyed listening to my podcasts, please subscribe to the new podcast updates on Itunes please provide your reviews on Itunes which will really help me. Subscribe to the Newsletter. You won’t be spammed! I hate spams too! You will receive only one email every Friday on the latest published podcasts.
If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in growing this little show. I also love reading reviews! Instructions are: a)If you’re on an iPhone, simply scroll down to “Reviews” inside the Podcasts app. b) If you’re on a desktop, click on “Listen on Apple Podcasts” under “The Nishant Garg Show.” Once inside iTunes, click on “Ratings and Reviews” and you’re set.
The Blog of Nishant Garg 