Contemplations and Musings

Just Letting Go, Just Letting Go

I wish letting go was easy.

I wish I could let go easily.

I wonder why spiritual gurus talk about letting go shit all the time.

How can I let go when there’s a pain in my heart?

How can I let go when my heart is broken into millions of pieces?

How can I let go when all I want is to resist the change and current circumstances?

I tell you that letting go is only possible when you feel the massive pain in your heart, when you feel the discomfort, and when there’s no exit, no escape, — what you’ve is just pain in your heart.

As I write this — I feel a huge pain in my heart. I’m allowing myself to feel this pain. It’s my choice because I choose to continue to live life with an open heart with an awake heart.

Living open-heartedly is so hard! It comes with a blessing and a curse.

Blessing is — you feel joy, happiness, and love — to the extreme.

The curse is — you get to feel the hurt to the extreme.

Navigating Emotional Coaster Ride

As I write this, I’ve been in the hell of an emotional coaster ride.

This ride is painful.

This ride causes sleepless nights.

This ride impacts my food appetite.

This ride triggers me. I get angry, I get sad. I can’t stop thinking and constantly swirling in my thoughts and trying to figure out.

Nothing seems to work out. It seems dark. It seems there are no lights.

It feels like this tough moment will never pass.

I wonder why it’s happening to me and not for me.

These Pains You Feel are Messengers, Listen To Them

There is no need to rush through the pain. Let it be. Sit with it. Sit with the emptiness in it. There is a pain, isn’t it? Every pain has been the catalyst for growth in my life. The goal isn’t to get away from the pain — feel it completely, and cry if you want to, It will help you grieve and release it from your body.

Everything passes, everything. Nothing stays forever. There is joy and growth on the other side of the pain. I don’t think anyone can find joy in the pain. But, when you sit with it, the pain softens. You get to sit with the pain like it is your friend and when you feel like it, ask your friend — the pain —to leave. Because, your other friend, the growth is waiting for you. Don’t rush in this process. In those moments of pain, you might ask — “why it always happens, why can’t I feel joy.” It’s OK. Life is both suffering and joy. We get to have both.

When you feel pain — reach out to your support system to help you process emotions. You are not your emotions. Emotions may be telling you something about you that you may not have healed yet. Look at it objectively and never identify with it. Just say – “I am experiencing this”.

What Would Be Unlived In Your Life?

“Who are you?” said the Caterpillar… “I —I hardly know, Sir, just at present,” Alice replied rather shyly, “at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have changed several times since then.” — Lewis Carroll

“I say to people, ‘Follow your envy—it tells you what you want.’ It’s great information. If we don’t have access to our feelings, it’s like we’re driving without a map.” —Lori Gottlieb

While reading Lao Tzu’s Verse 24 on Living without Excess, I came across this sweet short poem by Hafiz. Even after All this time, The Sun never says to the Earth, “You owe me.”. Look what happens with a love like that, it lights the Whole Sky”. — Poem by Hafiz

Maryn Azoff — Vocal Transformation: Your Voice is the Ultimate Vibrational Tool

Before I introduce who Maryn Azoff is – I want to mention that healing through our voice was something introduced to me by Pasha, my spiritual guide, in late 2022. She encouraged me to use my voice to own my truth and step into higher levels of authenticity and help others using my voice.

It doesn’t mean you have to be a singer to do this transformational work. It’s one of the ancient techniques to heal different parts of ourselves. So far, I’ve worked with two vocal activation coaches for a short period of time.

Very recently, I came across the work of Maryn Azoff and I became very curious about her workshops, retreats, and other offerings. As they say – when you’re ready, the teacher appears. I’d also say that we all have a teacher within us who is ready to help others. I am always a student of life and now I step into the role of teacher where I use my voice to bring healing and transformation to myself and others.

I listened to Maryn Azoff‘s podcasts to get more understanding of vocal transformational work and I highly recommend it. This post highlights 3 podcast episodes on Spotify and they grabbed my attention. Moreover, I am attending her workshop soon and plan to attend retreats.

Courage to Quit and Courage to Show up

“I’ve quit more times than I can count, sometimes too soon, sometimes for the wrong reasons, but more and more often without drama and with a calm feeling in my stomach. Safe in the knowing that a no to what I don’t want is a yes to something more important. My health, my love, my heart’s work.

My very own life.”

—Anna Lovind

“The ego’s core feeling of “not enough” causes it to react to someone else’s success as if that success had taken something away from “me”. It doesn’t know that your resentment of another person’s success curtails your own chances of success. In order to attract success, you need to welcome it wherever you see it.” —Eckhart Tolle

Dr. Cortney Warren — Letting Go of Your Ex: CBT Skills to Heal the Pain of a Breakup and Overcome Love Addiction

This is a guest post from Dr. Cortney Warren. Her new book Letting Go of Your Ex: CBT Skills to Heal the Pain of a Breakup and Overcome
Love Addiction released in Feb 2023. I am grateful to share an excerpt from her new book on this post. You can also check out my interview with her in 2022 on Choose Honesty, Honest Liars, The Psychology of Self-Deception

Dr. Cortney S. Warren is a Board Certified Clinical Psychologist and Adjunct Clinical Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Health at the Kirk Kerkorian School of Medicine at University of Nevada, Las Vegas (UNLV). Having won numerous professional awards for her research, Cortney is an expert on addictions, self-deception, romantic relationships, eating pathology, and the practice of psychotherapy from a cross-cultural perspective. Her newest work is a self-help book that explores breakups through an addictive framework called Letting Go of Your Ex: CBT Skills to Heal the Pain of a Breakup and Overcome Love Addiction (2023)

Excerpt and overview of the blog

Are you struggling to get over a former lover? Do thoughts and memories of your ex occupy your mind day and night? Do you wish you could talk to them, touch them, see them—anything to make you feel close again? Are you consumed by anger, sadness, frustration, or unbearable pain that your relationship is over? If so, you’re not alone—and you may be going through a love-addicted breakup. For people who struggle with love addiction, breakups can be downright devastating. Yet, there are tools you can use to start healing.

My Thoughts on Entrepreneurship and Building Connections

Playing a long game: It’s a belief that building a Tech startup is always hard. It’s true. And, it’s an eliminating belief too. Life works in duality. On the other hand, it’s easy if we take our time to build something without grinding and hustling mentality. Working long hours isn’t the solution. Founders and team who understand the philosophy of ‘slowing down’ succeed in the long game because they have high degree of emotional and mental endurance over the long haul.

Courage and Confidence: Working on a Tech startup is damn hard. Isn’t starting something new is hard? It’s hard! The confidence level is low and we require courage to keep showing up. I started podcast in 2020 knowing nothing — it was hard, and now I’ve 200+ episodes and it’s less hard.

On creativity: People force themselves for creative solutions when they feel tired and hence push more and more, and eventually nothing happens. Why not take a break and replenish yourself to fill your energy tank?

Founders with diverse experience: You can build a company at any age. Startup founders with diverse prior experience in different industries, even as an employee, who have built different kinds of designs and products are more likely to succeed in their startup venture. They already have gained many skills along their career such as how to build teams, how to leverage existing network, etc etc.