blog – Page 12 – Nishant Garg

Mindfulness: Prioritize Good Sleep

Prioritize Good Sleep: You can rest even when you are not done. Or, you can rest when you are completely done(dead)

Good sleep should be a MUST! It should be taught in schools!

I want to touch upon this subject of “Getting Good Sleep” which is being neglected by millions of people in the desire of “getting more things done”.

Do you think — you don’t need much sleep? Well, do you know what price are you paying at the cost of sleeping less?

We are living in a fast-and-furious culture where everyone is on-the-go all the time. Why are you tired — if everything is fast-and-furious?

You can never complete your To-do list every day. You can never check-off everything every day.

“You can rest even when you are not done. Or, you can rest when you are completely done(dead)“- Brene Brown

Creativity is the nature of human beings. You can’t showcase your creativity to its true potential — when you are tired and not rested.

Now, I practice getting good sleep and train my mind. I wasn’t good at it at all!! There are some days when I may struggle with sleep. It only happens when I am stressed, and then I practice mindfulness(in the form of Meditation) to get calm.

“Calm is a superpower”– Brene Brown

When anyone is stressed or unproductive, I always ask how many hours do you sleep every day consistently? If the response is less than 7 hours — it doesn’t surprise me — why you are feeling tense, stressed, or any negative emotion.

Results of sleep deprivation:

Heart diseases and other bodily diseases.
This leads to unhappiness.
Anger and frustration.
Constant stress.
The toll on your mental powers.
Reduction of Cognitive ability to think better.

The whole concept of productivity revolves around Good Sleep. Again, getting good at “good sleep” is a skill and can be learned

Are you compromising on your sleep to get more tasks done?

A year ago, in the pursuit of getting more in life, I started to sleep less and less, and sometimes only 4 hours, and as a result, my well-being, patience, and inner-peace went out of the window. I had a lot of mood swings. There were days, I just didn’t want to talk to anybody. I felt like — I was drunk. I hated that time, period!!

Then, I started studying sleep theory and learned that — how it affects our mind, body, and emotions. In all the studies, I found that — in order for our body and mind to function at its peak, we need 7–8 hours of sleep every day.

You might be thinking- “you are fine and you don’t need to sleep that long”. May be??

But, You may not know what you are getting into!! You might be getting into sleep debt that brings a lot of diseases in the long term. It’s like — eating unhealthy food occasionally won’t do much harm, but it will impact you if unhealthy food is consumed every day.

And, the same thing goes with sleep. I understand — occasional less sleep due to circumstances and life events may not cause problems. But, it will for sure — if sleeping less becomes a part of the lifestyle.

When you invest money, compound interest takes time to accumulate. You don’t see the interest right away. It takes months and years. And, the same thing is with — sleeping less. You get my point!

And, who doesn’t like to sleep more? I do!! I feel so good and happy when I am well rested after a great night’s sleep. I usually need 7.5 hours to function really well.

I had to train my mind to sleep for at least 7 hours. It was difficult in the beginning, but I’ve gotten better with time.

In this article, Brene Brown, the author of several New York Times bestselling books and a shame researcher talks about sleep.

Advantages of Good Sleep:

Peaceful and calm mind.
Brains function properly.
You make better choices and decisions.
Letting go of anger and frustration becomes easy.

Are you finding difficulty in getting good sleep? Do you ever wake up saying — holy shit, why does it happen with me? Does any fear, lack of self-confidence and self-worth bother you when you go to bed?

There are several key factors to consider before going to bed.

What not to do:

Check emails.
Expose to horror TV shows or movies
Social media
Anything that affects your sleep

Some recommendations:

Review your day
Write 3–5 things you are grateful for
Read something to relax your mind

I usually read and write a gratitude journal before bed. Sometimes, taking a long walk in the neighborhood and meditation does work for me as well.

Another recommendation is — take the last 5 mins before you go off to sleep. You have to program your subconscious mind thinking about the life positive events because your subconscious mind is home and active when you are at sleep.

If you spend the last 5 mins of your day thinking how terrible you feel, what others said to you, what others think of you, what opinion others have for you, etc. and etc, you are putting negative instructions in your subconscious mind. So, do not do this!

Be very careful about how you program your subconscious mind.
Whatever you place in your subconscious mind before sleep, you awake with the same mind.

This is what I do every night! I just close my eyes, feel the silence and affirm:

“Thank you, Universe for giving me this day! I am well, I am content, I am abundant, I am positive thoughts, I am peace, I am faith, I am happy”.

Just know that — sleep is not a nice-to-have thing. It’s should be a priority in life. I have learned to prioritize 7–8 hours of sleep now.

Also, if you train your mind to sleep by a definite time and wake up by a definite time — you have a much better recovery and you will feel amazing! For example: bedtime- 11 pm and wake up time- 6:30 am.

Get great sleep! Enjoy!

Farewell!

Growth Mindset: Navigating Through Failures

Growth Mindset: How I applied this principle in learning English(my second language)

“Mindset” is OK! “Fixed Mindset” can lead to failure! But “Growth Mindset” makes the difference.

In this society, we measure a child’s success with his/her performance in school exams. When a child gets EXCELLENT grades, people label them as intelligent. On the other hand. when a child gets mediocre or low grades, people consider them FAILURE, and in-fact some parents don’t think their child will ever be successful in life.

If your child(in case you are a parent) doesn’t perform well in school, it doesn’t mean your child is a failure. If your child does perform well in school, it doesn’t guarantee — — your child will always be successful in life.

Talent doesn’t determine success and destiny. Talent doesn’t guarantee success unless you practice it consistently. You can write your own destiny when you have got an attitude of openness and willingness to grow in life.

GROWTH is the key! It is the PROGRESS that matters!

If you have never failed, you will never know the LIFE. I’ve never met anyone who claims to have never failed.

English is my second language. When I was in junior high school, I flunked English exam by 9 marks(for readers in the USA — -you can think of “marks” as GPA or grades). I can never forget that time. I considered myself a total FAILURE. I felt like the world is over. I couldn’t look into my friend’s eyes during that time. My Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence were shattered because that event was unexpected.

Growth mindset and the ability and conviction to never say NO, and never stop trying. I knew that I will get better at English If I keep practicing. At that time, I didn’t know anything about personal development, and words like Self-Esteem were not in my vocabulary.

In Engineering(2006–2010), my friends used to call me “walking vocabulary” because I had mastered a book called “Barren for GRE”. At that time, International students used to study this book to improve English Vocabulary to study abroad.

I had promised myself that I will never give up on practicing English. I had a Growth Mindset and always think from a growth perspective, no matter what circumstances may show up in life. I used to go to the Library every day for 15 mins during lunch break to read something good to improve my skills.

I also didn’t know about the concept of Growth Mindset, up until the 2 years when I read the book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success”.

Fixed Mindset is — — when you attach your success with any assessment in life. Fixed Mindset people always want to be perfect in life all the time. “Perfection” never exists.

If you’re labeling yourself just based on a failed exam, you’re identifying yourself with FAILURE. Life always tests you and you’re going to fail more than you’re successful. You are not a failure!! You just got failed in a freaking test.

Growth Mindset people never think this way. They simply say — -” it’s OK, I have failed, and how can I improve the situation next time”

No one comes to this world with talent and skills. You have to acquire it with hard freaking, consistent work.

A great book to read on Growth Mindset- “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success”. This book has a lot of case studies in all the arenas how top performs got failed and succeeded based on their fixed and growth mindset.

“You are stronger than you think. You can handle this. “Just BELIEVE in yourself and say it a LOUD with me- IT IS POSSIBLE, IT IS POSSIBLE”.

I never knew how to write such articles. I just BELIEVED in myself and self-talked that if “they” can write it, I can also write it.

Have you ever realized that when you’re desperate to achieve your dreams, you keep working at it, and then your inner voice tells you-” dude, who are you kidding? You can’t do this”.

Our Inner Voice often gets in the way of our success and the reason could be — we think we didn’t grow up this way, we didn’t have a good education, we didn’t have right resources, we didn’t have the good political government, and the list goes on and on. Inner Voice says — “you are not good enough, you are not worthy, you don’t deserve”. The great challenge is to be aware of this and still keep moving.

I understand this and I have been in that situation, but the fact is — our circumstances have VERY little to do with our success.
When I say success — it’s a total well being and not just money. I know society compares success with money. What’s the use of money if you aren’t emotionally, mentally, spiritually strong and perhaps wreck your relationships?

The society also measures success with the education and with IQ(Intelligence) level. A recent psychological study depicts that your success only depends on 5% of the IQ. Rest depends on your EQ (Emotional Intelligence) level, meaning how you emotionally manage yourself and deal with other people.

A great book, from Daniel Goleman, to study on Emotional Intelligence who is the pioneer in this field.

Everything in life is a skill and can be learned and nurtured. Some people say — “oh, he/she has a god gifted talent”. Well, I don’t believe this because God or Universe(whatever name you may call) will never be biased among His children and if you are a parent, you can relate to this.

Even if you have lots of talent — it may be inherited genetically, but if you don’t nourish and tender your talent, it will be of no use with time.

Let’s believe in the Growth and Progress, and know that things can be learned with practice. So, never believe in a fixed trait.

Enjoy!! Farewell!!

Meditation: The Journey of Inner Peace

Mindfulness Matters: I have learned a lot of Patience and Kindness from Meditation. Meditation is simply closing your eyes, embracing your inner silence, observing your thoughts, listening to your emotions and inner-voice, and not being identified — by any feeling and emotion.

I have learned a lot from Meditation. Still getting better and learning new things about myself! Meditation is definitely great practice for the Spiritual Awakening. It has helped me in understanding(still getting better!) my true self, my connection to the universal source and overcoming a lot of worries, stress, fatigue, and tensions.

Whenever I feel overwhelmed and drowning in so many things — I tend to get into my head. It creates stress and anxiety, and as a result, I can’t think properly. Therefore, Meditation is my #1 go-to tool that I can use anytime and anywhere when required.

Meditation is simply closing your eyes, embracing your inner silence, observing your thoughts, listening to your emotions and inner-voice, and not being identified — by any feeling and emotion.

If a human being can learn to RELAX, all the worries, tensions, anxieties and fatigue will have vanished. Most of our worries are due to tension in the muscles. If we can relax our muscles, we can overcome worry. I used to be super worried at one point in my life, and Meditation certainly has helped me feel calm and relaxed.

There is so much noise in this world. We may not always find peace outside of us, but we can definitely find peace inside us. Do you ever sit calmly in relaxation and just do nothing? Doing JUST nothing, and easing and relaxing, in the Meditation form, may not be easy in the beginning. You might be bothered by the evil thoughts, past experiences, and so many things — you name it. Your deep fears and insecurities might show up.

It’s just a warning — you will get better with time — definitely!

When I started Meditation a year ago, I had just given up because whenever I closed my eyes, it was difficult to control thoughts. Then, I decided to keep practicing. Just 20 mins every day can change your life. If you can’t do 20 mins in one sitting, break it down.

You do not have to become a monk or go to the mountains and Himalayas to practice Meditation. You can start practicing wherever you are, In the middle of work or even in the middle of a work meeting(in the form of breathing). You can always focus on your breathing. When you focus on breathing, you literally create awareness and focus and lose a lot of anxiety — according to Brene Brown, in the book The Power of Vulnerability.

Sitting silently for even 5 mins and focusing on your breath can create miracles in your life. There are many people who say they don’t have time for Meditation. They want to do but keeps saying — NO TIME. But they have a lot of time to waste on unnecessary activities.

Meditation is not the only way to create peace within yourself. But what I can tell you from my experience is that I find a solution to every problem in Meditation. I strongly believe that we can get rid of a lot of miseries just by Meditation. All man’s miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone.

Meditation in your daily activities will create a ripple effect and the peace will spill in other areas of life.

The daily practice of Meditation gives me a greater sense of well-being, increased energy and higher productivity, and a close connection to God. Meditation is a way to know God(if you don’t believe in God, please disregard this sentence).

Our mind has 60 thousand thoughts every day and mind is cluttered with so many activities that it is imperative to quiet our mind to manifest what we desire. Sitting quietly creates space between the thoughts in the mind and it is in that space we find peace and stillness.
Meditation helps to create silent gaps between the thoughts and those silent gaps create peaceful sensations in your body and spirit.

There are several forms of Meditation — Transcendental, Guided, and many more.

I, personally, do Transcendental Meditation(mantra based).

The mantras I follow are:

“Release, Release… Calm, Calm… Relaxed, Relaxed…

Om, Om….” [ Mantra “Om” comes from Hinduism]

Meditation, for 20 mins, is my first thing after waking up(of course, after using the bathroom). Now, this has become a habit for me.

There are several benefits of Meditation in terms of how the brain changes. Dr. Joe Dispenza has explained in deep — the real benefits of Meditation.

Other Meditation resources to follow:

How to create Meditation Habit? Set a specific time and place every day. For me(as mentioned above), it’s the first thing in the morning. When and Where — decide for yourself?

If you have never done Meditation — but, feeling inspired because of Scientific and Spiritual benefits, I highly recommend to start with 2 mins, and gradually increase with time. Set a small goal for 2 mins for 3 days. After 3 days — set another goal for 2.5 mins for the next 3 days, and so on. You get my point!! That’s how I started and got to this point of 20 mins.

For beginners — you have a 3-day Meditation challenge. Pick a specific time, place, and time duration. Keep it simple! Please comment on how your challenge comes out after 3 days.

Enjoy!! Farewell!!

Consistency wins over Intensity

Over a long-term consistency ALWAYS wins over intensity.
It is always easy to measure success in the long term than in a short time.
A lot of people give up on their dreams when they don’t see results in the short term.

Over a long-term consistency ALWAYS wins over intensity.

It is always easy to measure success in the long term than in a short time.

A lot of people give up on their dreams when they don’t see results in the short term.

We try to achieve things with intensity. Intensity won’t last long but consistency. Continue reading “Consistency wins over Intensity”

Are you always successful in getting the first date but finding it difficult to set more dates with her?
Do you feel like whatever you do on the first date, she doesn’t want to go out again?
Have you ever wondered that why she doesn’t want to go out again even though she was very much interested on the first date?
She sucked the tongue out of your mouth on the first date and when you reached out to her later, she either ghosted you or didn’t want to go on second date or further?

Does it frustrate you?

I understand this feeling and I have been in these situations.

Believe me—it can be emotionally draining sometimes when you go out on the first date and don’t get to see her again.

And when you are too much into her, it becomes painful.

You know what— we grow from struggles and pain and let’s honor the journey.

First date is very important to take it to the next level. It’s like the job interview and you got to put your best foot forward

There was a time in my life when I was getting lot of first dates with different women but most of the time it was challenging to see them again.

When I was learning this stuff, I always asked her for the first date even I wasn’t physically attracted to her just because I wanted to learn and get better at it.

What does it mean to be authentic on the dates?

It simply means “Knowing what you want, who you are as a person and being comfortable in your skin”.

When I was new to this dating world—

I was trying to be super nice guy to please her. Strong women will feel this and might consider this behavior as a weakness.
I often changed my opinion to match hers for her to like me. Honestly, this is not a good idea and might come across as a week behavior and I learned this later.
Strong and confident women might test your strength on the first date. If you are discussing any topic, I would suggest you stick to your opinion, and respect her opinion as well.
I used to talk a lot about myself instead of asking about her. One woman told me later that- “she liked me as a person. But, I did not ask about her much and it’s a turn off for her”.

Learning? Always ask her good questions to know her. But don’t interrogate her like a robot. Asking questions should also not sound like an interview.

Be enthusiastic and genuine in whatever you ask her.

How to ask her good questions?

Be authentic and ask genuine questions that she might enjoy answering.

Once upon a time, a woman was trying to test me and wanting me to change my opinion. I simply told her—“you are entitled to your opinion, and my opinion is this and that is what I think”.

She later told me that- “she liked my behavior. I am different than other guys because most guys try to change their opinion to please her.”

Never change your opinion to please her. There is a different between pleasing and being who you are. And do not be disrespectful to her either.

I still remember that date when “I asked her to KISS”.

Can you imagine her response?

Her response changed my perspective.

She mentioned that— “As a man, you do not have to ask me to kiss. A man always goes for the kiss”.

Something to think about! Right?

When I was totally new to this dating, I was unsure of what I was looking for and when women asked me this, my response was “we will see, what happens”, and as a result so many women I really liked and who liked me back walked away.

It’s all about being clear about your Intentions. Believe in the Power of Intention.

Successful women are clear about what they want and if you are not sure- you aren’t going to get another chance.

You also need to understand that you don’t have to express your love or liking on the first date. Love takes time and it’s a process.

If you think you are authentic and start expressing your liking, she may perceive you as being needy and pushy.

I remember a Date when I started saying “I like you” after 2 hours.

She was really an awesome girl. She told— “we have just met and how can you like me so soon”.

At that time, I didn’t have any clue and I started justifying.

And the result? She didn’t want to go again on a second date.

Why? It is not because she didn’t like me. She liked me, but she would have thought that I might be needy and pushy later if we decide to date further

However, Not knowing what you are seeking might work with the woman who is not looking for serious long term.

If you meet a woman who is sure of herself what she is looking for, I will suggest that you better be yourself, otherwise she will walk away.

When I had just started dating, I was trying to PLEASE her just to get to like me.

But, it does not end well.

Being yourself gives the vibes of self-reliance. You must be clear about your intentions to attract the kind of woman you deserve.

There is a saying— “when you do not know what you want, you will end up reaching where you don’t want to arrive”.

What I am telling here is that you do not have to play any games.

If you like her, simply tell her about it but do not do too much because “too much, too soon causes rejection”.

When I go on a date now, I clearly tell my intentions when I am asked. If she and I are wanting different things, it’s better not to see them again.

It saves lot of time and energy.

Being authentic will get you the kind of woman you are looking for.

When you show your authenticity and do your best on the first date, you will not have to take the rejection personally.

When we give our best in any area of life, we feel satisfied even if the outcome is not aligned to what we deserve.

The key is to be authentic on the first date and keep trying unless you meet your lovely woman.

Tag: blog

Mindfulness: Prioritize Good Sleep

Growth Mindset: Navigating Through Failures

Meditation: The Journey of Inner Peace

Consistency wins over Intensity

Over a long-term consistency ALWAYS wins over intensity.

Over a long-term consistency ALWAYS wins over intensity.

Over a long-term consistency ALWAYS wins over intensity.

Gratitude is a Practice

Choose To Grow

Create White Space

How and Why To Be Yourself On Your First Date