“Mindset” is OK! “Fixed Mindset” can lead to failure! But “Growth Mindset” makes the difference.
In this society, we measure a child’s success with his/her performance in school exams. When a child gets EXCELLENT grades, people label them as intelligent. On the other hand. when a child gets mediocre or low grades, people consider them FAILURE, and in-fact some parents don’t think their child will ever be successful in life.
If your child(in case you are a parent) doesn’t perform well in school, it doesn’t mean your child is a failure. If your child does perform well in school, it doesn’t guarantee — — your child will always be successful in life.
Talent doesn’t determine success and destiny. Talent doesn’t guarantee success unless you practice it consistently. You can write your own destiny when you have got an attitude of openness and willingness to grow in life.
GROWTH is the key! It is the PROGRESS that matters!
If you have never failed, you will never know the LIFE. I’ve never met anyone who claims to have never failed.
English is my second language. When I was in junior high school, I flunked English exam by 9 marks(for readers in the USA — -you can think of “marks” as GPA or grades). I can never forget that time. I considered myself a total FAILURE. I felt like the world is over. I couldn’t look into my friend’s eyes during that time. My Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence were shattered because that event was unexpected.
Growth mindset and the ability and conviction to never say NO, and never stop trying. I knew that I will get better at English If I keep practicing. At that time, I didn’t know anything about personal development, and words like Self-Esteem were not in my vocabulary.
In Engineering(2006–2010), my friends used to call me “walking vocabulary” because I had mastered a book called “Barren for GRE”. At that time, International students used to study this book to improve English Vocabulary to study abroad.
I had promised myself that I will never give up on practicing English. I had a Growth Mindset and always think from a growth perspective, no matter what circumstances may show up in life. I used to go to the Library every day for 15 mins during lunch break to read something good to improve my skills.
I also didn’t know about the concept of Growth Mindset, up until the 2 years when I read the book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success”.
Fixed Mindset is — — when you attach your success with any assessment in life. Fixed Mindset people always want to be perfect in life all the time. “Perfection” never exists.
If you’re labeling yourself just based on a failed exam, you’re identifying yourself with FAILURE. Life always tests you and you’re going to fail more than you’re successful. You are not a failure!! You just got failed in a freaking test.
Growth Mindset people never think this way. They simply say — -” it’s OK, I have failed, and how can I improve the situation next time”
No one comes to this world with talent and skills. You have to acquire it with hard freaking, consistent work.
A great book to read on Growth Mindset- “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success”. This book has a lot of case studies in all the arenas how top performs got failed and succeeded based on their fixed and growth mindset.
“You are stronger than you think. You can handle this. “Just BELIEVE in yourself and say it a LOUD with me- IT IS POSSIBLE, IT IS POSSIBLE”.
I never knew how to write such articles. I just BELIEVED in myself and self-talked that if “they” can write it, I can also write it.
Have you ever realized that when you’re desperate to achieve your dreams, you keep working at it, and then your inner voice tells you-” dude, who are you kidding? You can’t do this”.
Our Inner Voice often gets in the way of our success and the reason could be — we think we didn’t grow up this way, we didn’t have a good education, we didn’t have right resources, we didn’t have the good political government, and the list goes on and on. Inner Voice says — “you are not good enough, you are not worthy, you don’t deserve”. The great challenge is to be aware of this and still keep moving.
I understand this and I have been in that situation, but the fact is — our circumstances have VERY little to do with our success.
When I say success — it’s a total well being and not just money. I know society compares success with money. What’s the use of money if you aren’t emotionally, mentally, spiritually strong and perhaps wreck your relationships?
The society also measures success with the education and with IQ(Intelligence) level. A recent psychological study depicts that your success only depends on 5% of the IQ. Rest depends on your EQ (Emotional Intelligence) level, meaning how you emotionally manage yourself and deal with other people.
A great book, from Daniel Goleman, to study on Emotional Intelligence who is the pioneer in this field.
Everything in life is a skill and can be learned and nurtured. Some people say — “oh, he/she has a god gifted talent”. Well, I don’t believe this because God or Universe(whatever name you may call) will never be biased among His children and if you are a parent, you can relate to this.
Even if you have lots of talent — it may be inherited genetically, but if you don’t nourish and tender your talent, it will be of no use with time.
Let’s believe in the Growth and Progress, and know that things can be learned with practice. So, never believe in a fixed trait.