Dear friends, I’ve been contemplating the below musings from different authors including mine to heal and grow in dating, romantic relationships, and all kinds of relationships. This blog post is brought to you by my new co-creation of a spiritual retreat from Oct 7th-Oct 9th 2022. You can check the details at Immersive Retreat – From Admiration to Inspiration. Let’s begin…
“There is no shortage of people who ended a new relationship with great potential because they were unconsciously attached to perfection. Running away when slight friction occurs is a sign of being emotionally unprepared. Great relationships are built, they don’t come ready-made.” –Yung Pueblo
“Dating/Relationships is a skill. It’s like any other skill in life which takes time, effort, and patience. Sometimes we see a successful person doing horribly in their personal relationships, and vice versa. When we see someone with an amazing relationship, it means they’ve developed this skill over time, and continually cultivate it.”
“I was reminded that what we resist persists. My intuitive guide, Sabrina Heartsong, prompted me to perhaps consider that this relationship was showing up in my life in such a way as to teach me how to stay in the flow and learn something that life was so gracefully presenting. She told me my relationship with this man had manifested itself exactly the way I energetically attracted it. The universe was showing me the areas in my life that still needed healing.” – Waleuska Lazo
“Look, I get it: It can feel so real in your head. I know. But before you think you’ve fallen in love, ask yourself, “How well do we even know this person?” Because when you meet someone new, the immediate fireworks of lust can become so addictive. You even can feel sad when you leave them because your body withdraws from the intoxicating energy and oxytocin your brain releases when you’re in lust. You can confuse all of that with love. Toss in feeling sad, feeling lost, being freshly heartbroken, or searching for something to fill the voids, and you’re extra vulnerable to falling in love with an idea, rather than a whole person.
But you know what the best way I’ve found to avoid projecting a fantasy onto a person is? Getting down and dirty with yourself first. Learning to love your independence, learning how to sleep alone, learning how to fulfill all the shit you think is missing on your own. Because when you’re whole, you don’t have all these gaping holes you’re looking to fill. And then, you’re free to find something real.
What’s real is sustainable. A fantasy wears off the moment you step off the plane and are gazing into that bitter, florescent airport light. “
“When two people come together because they want to learn together, grow together, heal together, share their time and companionship, and share their love and passion, they have a good chance of creating a lasting, loving relationship.”–Dr. Margaret Paul
“Know that all your needs are valid and you shouldn’t be apologetic for having it. We have a need to emotionally and physically bond with our partners – spiritually also. If you’re single, find someone who can validate your needs and never tell you “you are too needy”. If you’re in a relationship – do you communicate your needs to them? Does your partner understand your needs? Or, do they dismiss them? Do you value your own needs? I personally accept that I have a huge deep capacity to love and my heart is now stuck open to receive love. My needs are important and yours too. I accept my needs wholeheartedly and I am worthy of them. Needs are not bad and we are wired to emotionally attach with our partners the way an infant attaches to his/her caregiver.”
“The triggers you have can destroy relationships because they are yours. The other person may not even know why you’re getting upset because your childhood belief system is kicking in and it’s probably not even related to what’s happening right here and now. When you can release those triggers, or at least diminish them so they don’t consume you when they happen, you will see positive changes in your relationship, feel better because you aren’t consumed by other’s behaviors, and you’ll open your heart to compassion and maybe even a little bit of unconditional love.” –Paul Colaianni
“In relationships, trust isn’t a promise to never hurt each other. It’s the risk that we will hurt each other and the confidence that, if we do, we will come together to heal. Cultivating that level of trust requires millions of micro-risks that show us we’re not foolish for being confident in our relationship. Most importantly, trust requires taking risks together that help us grow into better partners for each other.” –Esther Perel
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