Happiness is a state of mind!
In my unawareness, I thought money will make me happy. I was making money, and still, I was not happy. I had everything from a society perspective, and still, I was not happy.
I was seeking happiness in other people, which I now understand is attachment.
I often attached my happiness with other people, and when they were gone out of my life—I felt they took my happiness with them.
When my ex-girlfriend broke up with me in 2014, I felt devastated, and I felt that my happiness is gone with her.
Things change with time, and I got an understanding of happiness.
“There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way!” This is a great quote from my guru Wayne Dyer.
We often mistake happiness with “thrills“. When I bought my new house in 2019, I thought I was happy and joyful, and that elevated feeling didn’t last long. Then, I realized that I was confusing happiness with “thrills“. I was only feeling thrilling emotions. That is it!
The Thrilling feeling is just temporary. Let’s not misunderstand happiness!
Everyone in this world already has happiness within them. But, we spend years and years in finding happiness of external things.
Happiness is eternal, and resides in our heart and soul. The challenging part is unlocking the happiness that resides within us, within our heart, and within our soul. Why? Because, there are so many layers of conditioning, programming, and beliefs installed in us since we were a small child. By this programming, we live a mechanical life, and happiness gets hidden inside us.
Parents said— go to school, you will be happy; get a job and make money, you will be happy; get married and have kids, you will be happy.
Oh my! This is a never-ending cycle! Happy or still unhappy?
The more we look for happiness in external things, the more we drift away from happiness.
I got my dream job, I got my dream car, I got my dream house! So what? Are these things going to keep me happy forever? Oh no no! Never! These things just give thrills that vanish away soon.
There are times when I get negative feelings, and I ask myself that if I’ve everything, then why I have negative feelings? Now, I am aware that I am detached from those negative feelings, and just observe myself the way a sky observes clouds. Good or bad clouds come and go, and the sky is never affected.
You can always be happy with occasional negative feelings. Negative feelings are temporary! They come and go! Happiness stays right there in your heart and soul.
If someone comes to me, and says that “I look good in this shirt“—this praise doesn’t make me feel good. I know I am not attached to other’s good or bad opinions. They may be in a good mood right now. If they blame me in a bad mood, that behavior will not affect me either.
Any praise or blame shouldn’t affect you because your happiness is detached from them, and because you’re you.
In the past, I continued to be unhappy in my unawareness. Now, I continue to be happy in my awareness.
This happiness feels different since I am awake and aware, and it is permanent. Now, I do everything with happiness. I can feel negative sometimes, but those negative emotions just come and go. They don’t define me, and I am not identified by them. I just observe myself in awareness and understand happiness.
I am not identified by my negative feelings. I don’t attach myself with negative emotions. I continue to be happy when I observe my negative feelings, in a similar way, I observe those feelings in another person.
If you come to me, and ask me— “what name would I give to the feeling after I achieve something?”
I will be honest and blunt, and at the same time— I’d just say that “it’s a thrill, it’s an emotional high, and it shall soon pass.”
You can’t continue to be in a thrilled and excited state forever. Nature demands equilibrium. You will soon feel suffering and negative feelings after that excitement disappears.
Happiness is not a good feeling either. Happiness can’t be boxed. When I learned this, my reaction was —”I got this, I got this!“
If you are aware, then happiness will always be there within you.
You can still be happy internally in the moments of deep sadness. I am not talking about the feelings of excitement here. It will be ingenuity to show excitement in a death ceremony. But know that, your happiness doesn’t depend on anything. It is unaffected, detached, and always live within you.
Everyone says that happiness lies in small things. I agree that happiness lies in small things. But, are you living in the present moment to really enjoy the small things around you? Or, are you constantly moving from one thing to another without being fully present with yourself, with your surroundings, and with your emotions and feelings?
If money could buy happiness, then all the rich people would be happy. Are you choosing to be happy?
Happiness is a choice that you have to make it every single day.
It’s inside of you. Happiness is something you have to study and practice it every day.
If you are reading this, then “stop” right there and think “what’s that area of your life you are happy about and what’s that area you are not happy about”?
If any area of your life conditions doesn’t match the expectations, then it will cause unhappiness.
If there is a small gap between where you’re now and where you want to be, you might feel a little stressed. But, if this gap is huge, you will feel depressed.
If you’re totally happy about something, it means—your expectations match the reality. Your expectations match the blueprint of your life.
In life, to be happy, either when we have to lower our expectations or take immediate action to bridge the gap between where we are and where we want to be.
Forget everything for a while. Just observe the beauty of trees and flowers around, and ask yourself—“what do you really enjoy?”
In my 20’s, I was doing things to fit in with friends and others so that I feel happy. But, I wasn’t happy. I was miserable in my unawareness.
I Wish somebody had told me that happiness is within me.
You don’t need to run around to seek it. you just need to discover me, and peel off the layers of old conditioning and programming.
I Wish I knew—money, job, car, house is not happiness.
You want to experience happiness! Just observe the rising sun, walk in nature, stare at the stars, sit in silence, and seek solitude. You will experience happiness!
You need to understand that “nobody” can make you happy. The profound reason of unhappiness is attachment with others. Emotional and Psychological attachment is dangerous. Tell your loved ones—“I love you but I am not attached to you”. This is an amazing realization, and when I realized it, I had the aha moment—“I got it, I got it“.
Happiness is an inner process. If you attach happiness with others, you will never find it.
Honestly, some days, I may struggle to know what happiness is, and some days, I feel it without the need of knowing it. Then, I say to myself that happiness is a feeling to experience it, and stop chasing it.
Happiness is also related to contentment with things. If you feel never contented enough in life, you might feel unhappiness feeling. Contentment doesn’t mean that you don’t go after your dreams, rather it simply does mean that you are grateful for whatever you have.
I was never grateful for anything in life. I was constantly changing jobs in order to get high pay raise. Eventually, I received more money and a lot of unhappiness.
Can you be happy with more money? Yes!
Can you be happy with less money? Yes, you can!
Happiness isn’t tied to how many things you do have. Period. It’s simple yet profound!
You still might ask me—how to be happy?
Well, I have an answer!
And it is: “Awareness”.
When you are aware, you don’t have to do anything to increase the level of happiness. You just understand it!
Take a piece of paper, and write down everything that you do have. Focus on what you do have.
People often focus on things what they don’t have. You are never going to get enough to be happy. You already have everything to be happy because it’s already buried deep inside you.
Happiness and Suffering are two ends of a pendulum. Suffering is an opportunity to experience happiness by peeling off some of the layers on your heart and soul.
When I was in college, I thought—I will be happy when I get a job. I was unaware. I thought that happiness is an outcome of doing something.
I was wrong! Happiness is not the outcome! Rather, happiness creates an outcome—good, for sure!
Happiness is not something we get out of something, rather it is a way.
Happiness is an art. A great book to read by Dalai Lama– The Art of Happiness.
No amount of money can give you true happiness. True happiness comes from the self-discovery process. True happiness comes from enjoying silence and emptiness.
Emptiness isn’t empty! It is full of answers that connects to happiness within you.
There is no concept of temporary happiness, which we often hear about these days. Those are just “thrills“.
I am repeating—don’t confuse thrills with happiness!
Happiness is permanent. Happiness can’t have labels and can’t be boxed. Happiness can’t be attached with things. It is there, everywhere, and we only need to tap into it by understanding ourselves.
We usually look for happiness in surroundings, and forget to look inside us. Seek silence and solitude, and you will unleash the hidden happiness.
Be grateful and appreciative of everything that you have, rather than focusing on what you don’t have. Energy flows where focus goes.
- Happiness is within you. Happiness comes from within. Learn to be happy in the journey of life.
- Nobody can make you happy except yourself.
- Are you working on a goal to be happy? You have to be happy first while working on that goal.
When Dalai Lama was asked- “what is his purpose of life?” His response was “HAPPINESS”.
Whenever I’m sad, or something in my life isn’t working the way I want it to be—I go in meditation and ask myself—“what is my purpose and why am I here?” And, every time, I get the answer- “love, peace, happiness, and joy”.
Happiness! Happiness! Happiness!
Farewell!
The Blog of Nishant Garg 