Debbie Millman on Deep Relationships, Creativity and Growth, The Importance of Therapy, Hope and Resilience, and More (#154)

Expect anything worthwhile to take a long time.”

-Debbie

Debbie Millman : Named “one of the most creative people in business” by Fast Company, and “one of the most influential designers working today” by Graphic Design USA, Debbie Millman is also an author, educator, curator and host of the podcast Design Matters. As the founder and host of Design Matters, one of the world’s first and longest running podcasts, Millman has interviewed nearly 500 artists, designers and cultural commentators over the past 14 years. Debbie has interviewed guests including Tim Ferriss, Malcolm Gladwell, Marina Abramovic, Steven Pinker, Shepard Fairey, Laurie Anderson, Barbara Kruger, Amanda Palmer, Alain de Botton, Brene Brown, Hamilton Director Thomas Kail, and many, many more.

Debbie is the author of six books, including two collections of interviews that have extended the ethos and editorial vision of Design Matters to the printed page: How to Think Like a Great Graphic Designer and Brand Thinking and Other Noble Pursuits. Both books have been published in over 10 languages. She is the author of two books of illustrated essays: Look Both Ways and Self-Portrait As Your Traitor; the latter of which has been awarded a Gold Mobius, a Print Typography Award, and a medal from the Art Directors Club. Her artwork from these books have been included in the Boston Biennale, Chicago Design Museum, Anderson University, School of Visual Arts, Long Island University, The Wolfsonion Museum, the Czong Institute for Contemporary Art and more.

Debbie’s illustrations have appeared in publications such as The New York Times, New York Magazine, Print Magazine, Design Observer and Fast Company.  In 2009 Debbie co-founded the world’s first graduate program in branding at the School of Visual Arts in New York City. Now in its ninth year, the program has achieved international acclaim.

Debbie is currently working with Law & Order SVUactor and activist Mariska Hargitay’s Joyful Heart Foundation to eradicate sexual assault, domestic violence, child abuse and the rape-kit backlog.

Her new book Why Design Matters: Conversations with the World’s Most Creative People is available to preorder on Amazon.

Please enjoy!

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, or on your favorite platform

This podcast is brought to you by Newsletter. If you’d like to learn more about what I am reading, new documentaries, what I am learning new, recent podcast updates, things I am experimenting with, or anything —which I share extensively in my weekly short and sweet “Friday Newsletter”. No spam ever! I hate that too!

Connect with Debbie:

Website | Instagram | Twitter | Design Matters Podcast

Download Audio:

Stream the audio here

Download this audio by right click and choose “save as”

Book Mentioned:

People Mentioned:

Show Notes:

  • You graduated in 1983, and you were majored in English and you had a minor in Russian literature. So I want to ask you, did you speak Russian or did you write or both?
  • What do you love about Russian literature?
  • How have you stayed in your team in 2020 during coronavirus? How were you hopeful in 2020?
  • Do you still have the dog Duff?
  • Whenever challenges come in our life. How do you cultivate the art of being thankful and grateful? Does it come naturally to you or do you have to practice on a constant basis?
  • What makes a good therapist and what is your relationship with therapy these days?
  • What is it that resonate with you the most with your therapy?
  • What is your frequency of visiting your therapist per week per month?
  • At what point did you realize that you needed to work on yourself in terms of emotional wellbeing or working with a therapist?
  • Did you ask your friend that what makes others or him feel jealous of you?
  • Do you have any advice or recommendation for somebody who is afraid of finding a therapist or seeking therapy to uncover the layers in their life?
  • What does your self-talk look like whenever you go through those obstacles? What do you tell yourself?
  • What are your practices to be optimistic, hopeful, and resilient?
  • How would you spouse Roxanne gay would describe of what do you do for a living.
  • What were your first few days of dating with Roxanne like?
  • How did you ask her for the first date? What did you tell her to go on a first date with you?
  • How do you find balance between showing your masculinity at your workplace and being feminine in your personal life, in your relationship, in your romantic relationship?
  • how do you communicate your differences or unpleasant emotions and feelings with your partner? If that happens?
  • Do you have any process or mental framework to process your grief or sadness?
  • Could you share any good memories from your childhood?
  • You got remarried in 2020, what does this love feel like to you in your fifties?
  • What do you think makes a great relationship work? (compatibility)
  • How do you create that white space in your everyday life to be more creative and seek joy and fulfillment?
  • What kind of practices do you have in your everyday life to seek joy, fulfillment fun? What concrete practices do you have?
  • What is the most important aspect for someone’s growth and creativity?
  • Do you ever fear of not being able to repeat your success?
  • What is your emotional critical need in the upcoming years? What do you think you are most excited about?
  • and much more

Resources that helped me in the preparation

The Nishant Garg Show:

This show is about helping you live a fulfilled life and my job on this show is to sit with the world class experts to extract the practices, routines and habits to help you live a fulfilled and abundant life. For any question, please contact me.

If you have enjoyed listening to my podcasts, please subscribe to the new podcast updates on Itunes please provide your reviews on Itunes which will really help me. Subscribe to the Newsletter. You won’t be spammed! I hate spams too! You will receive only one email every Friday on the latest published podcasts.

If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in growing this little show. I also love reading reviews! Instructions are: a)If you’re on an iPhone, simply scroll down to “Reviews” inside the Podcasts app. b) If you’re on a desktop, click on “Listen on Apple Podcasts” under “The Nishant Garg Show.” Once inside iTunes, click on “Ratings and Reviews” and you’re set.

Sarah Sarkis on Mastery, Psychological Flexibility, Emotional Skills and Self-Regulation Practices, Relationship with Risk, Sense of Wellness, and More (#153)

“The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.”

-Rumi

Sarah Sarkis’s introduction in her own words:

I received my MA from Boston College where I studied Counseling Psychology. I then began my doctoral training at George Washington University with an emphasis on Adult Psychotherapy from a psychoanalytic perspective. Upon completion of my doctoral studies, I completed my internship and post-doctoral fellowship training at two inpatient psychiatric hospitals in the Boston area. There, I worked with people who were suffering from the most severe and retractable forms of mental illness.

Those experiences taught me the deep and enduring value of comprehensive and collaborative care from a multi-disciplinary perspective. I carry those lessons with me to my current work in my private practice, where I emphasize and utilize my partnerships with physicians, naturopaths, and functional medicine doctors and nutritionists to provide the best standard of care. In addition to my psychology training, I’ve studied extensively the use of mindfulness, functional medicine, hormones, and how food, medicine, and mood are interconnected.

My influences include Dr.’s Hyman, Benson, Kabat-Zinn, Maté, Gervais, and Gordon, as well as Tara Brach, Brené Brown, Irvin Yalom, Howard Stern, Steven Kotler, and Bruce Springsteen, to name only a few.

Please enjoy!

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, or on your favorite platform

This podcast is brought to you by Newsletter. If you’d like to learn more about what I am reading, new documentaries, what I am learning new, recent podcast updates, things I am experimenting with, or anything —which I share extensively in my weekly short and sweet “Friday Newsletter”. No spam ever! I hate that too!

Connect with Sarah:

Website | Instagram | Facebook

Download Audio:

Stream the audio here

Download this audio by right click and choose “save as”

Book Mentioned:

People Mentioned:

Other Resources:

Show Notes:

  • About the book Mastery
  • What kind of values do you talk about with your son? Or what kind of conversations do you have with your son to inculcate all these practices?
  • Learning from modeling others
  • Turning pain into energy, turn fear into energy because cause life will cripple you if you don’t.
  • Could you share any memorable story from your teenage years or anything that comes to your mind?
  • Describing about her Junior high school headmaster
  • Did you ever talk about your disengagement and your attitude in your family?
  • How do you appreciate and encourage your son because you definitely didn’t grow up in that environment?
  • What is your personal relationship with risk now?
  • In 2016 and 2016, what moved you to take risks and changes?
  • Did you always want to be a clinical psychologist or what events were leading up to that?
  • What set of emotional skills do you teach or recommend to them to master certain areas of their lives?
  • Could you recommend us some concrete practices in the umbrella of self regulation and mindfulness?
  • Diaphragmatic breathing, Mindfulness, Sleep
  • How do I observe myself? What should I do?
  • How to sit in meditation and observe your Revelations with yourself
  • I would love to ask you about your personal practices in the umbrella of mindfulness and self-regulation
  • What kind of questions do you ask yourself at this moment in your life, at present in your life?
  • What does a sense of wellness look like to you personally?
  • Listening to pain
  • What are the healthy ways to cope with pain and unpleasant emotions and how do you deal with it? How do you process these emotional patterns in your life?
  • On getting good sleep and its benefits and  relationship with sleep
  • Somebody is not sure how to tackle all this problems. Should they go to a therapist, to a performance coach, to a flow coach? Where should people go?
  • Could you share what is flow? How do they get into flow?
  • Do you live your life by any quote or any life philosophy?
  • What is the specific impact to you on to leave on this world?
  • and much more

The Nishant Garg Show:

This show is about helping you live a fulfilled life and my job on this show is to sit with the world class experts to extract the practices, routines and habits to help you live a fulfilled and abundant life. For any question, please contact me.

If you have enjoyed listening to my podcasts, please subscribe to the new podcast updates on Itunes please provide your reviews on Itunes which will really help me. Subscribe to the Newsletter. You won’t be spammed! I hate spams too! You will receive only one email every Friday on the latest published podcasts.

If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in growing this little show. I also love reading reviews! Instructions are: a)If you’re on an iPhone, simply scroll down to “Reviews” inside the Podcasts app. b) If you’re on a desktop, click on “Listen on Apple Podcasts” under “The Nishant Garg Show.” Once inside iTunes, click on “Ratings and Reviews” and you’re set.

Jeremy Hunter on The Quality of Life and Attention, Meaningful and Engaged Life, Why Moments Matter, Japan Bathing Culture, and More (#152)

“I tell my Japanese friends all the time, you can’t digitize a bathtub.”

“Use your daily life as a place of practice.”

“You cannot manage other people unless you manage yourself first.”

-Jeremy

Jeremy Hunter, PhD is the great-grandson of a sumo wrestler. He serves as the Founding Director of the Executive Mind Leadership Institute as well as Associate Professor of Practice at the Peter F. Drucker Graduate School of Management. For over a decade, he has helped leaders develop themselves while retaining their humanity in the face of monumental change and challenge. He created and teaches The Executive Mind, a series of demanding and transformative executive education programs. They are dedicated to Drucker’s assertion that “You cannot manage other people unless you manage yourself first.”

He co-leads the Leading Mindfully Executive Education program at the University of Virginia’s Darden School of Business. He has designed and led leadership development programs for a wide variety of organizations, including Fortune 200 aerospace, Fortune 50 banking and finance, accounting, the arts and civic non-profits. Program impacts have lead to both positive professional, personal and financial outcomes for participants. Past participants have worked to create a “culture of calm” resulting in more effective team performance as well as creating better firm-wide solutions. They were better able to focus on their priorities, connect with team members, and focus on larger strategic priorities. They learned to control emotions they previously thought not possible to do. For example, better-managed reactions with a volatile client saved an aerospace executive an estimated $700,000 in unexercised contract clauses. Participants also reported a higher quality of sleep as well as greater peace of mind and enhanced ability to enjoy their lives.

Hunter has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, The Economist, The Financial Times, the Los Angeles Times and National Public Radio’s Morning Edition. He has been voted Professor of the Year five times. His work is informed by the experience of living day-to-day for 17 years with a potentially terminal illness. When faced with the need for life-saving surgery more than a dozen former students came forward as organ donors.

Dr. Hunter received his Ph.D. from University of Chicago, under the direction of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. He also holds a degree in Public Policy from the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard University, and in East Asian Studies from Wittenberg University. He relishes Chinese dumplings and obsesses about modern architecture. He and his wife and son dutifully serve two housecats who live in Los Angeles. He is a contributor to Mindful.com, He was featured in the article “Why Mindfulness Matters.”

Please enjoy!

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, or on your favorite platform

This podcast is brought to you by Newsletter. If you’d like to learn more about what I am reading, new documentaries, what I am learning new, recent podcast updates, things I am experimenting with, or anything —which I share extensively in my weekly short and sweet “Friday Newsletter”. No spam ever! I hate that too!

Connect with Jeremy:

Website | LinkedIn | Twitter | Ted Talk: How to Change your Future

Download Audio:

Stream the audio here

Download this audio by right click and choose “save as”

Book Mentioned: The Lady and the Monk: Four Seasons in Kyoto

People Mentioned:

Show Notes:

  • What is your connection with Japan?
  • What does it feel like to be in Japan?
  • Japan as a culture has incorporated beauty and aesthetic.
  • You mentioned about the qualities that you see in Japan. What are those qualities, if you could name some of them and what differentiates between living in Japan versus living in different parts of the world?
  • Real tension between how do you ground yourself in your reality when a digital reality can take you anywhere
  • Asian parents have certain expectations from their children that you have to be successful, you have to be this way or that way. What was your relationship with your parents?
  • Could you describe what is bathing culture?
  • What do you feel after that hot bat in terms of psychological, physiological benefits?
  • What were studying in Japan in 1990s?
  • What does quality of life mean to you? How do you define it for yourself?
  • Could you paint this picture of your relationship with your son?
  • Did your parents and elders talk to you about present moment awareness?
  • At the age of nine, what kind of meditation you started with?
  • After you got diagnosed with terminal illness, what changes did you make after that in your inner and outer world to just move forward with positivity or something like that?
  • There is a certain gift in knowing at an early age that your time is finite and that really clarifies what is important and that goes back to attention.
  • What do you mean by escaping their life in the context of meditation?
  • What practices do you suggest or recommend to leaders and executives you work with?
  • Changing the narration and stories to create the desired outcome
  • Cultivate a relationship with what’s beautiful in your life and  intentionally look for sources of beauty
  • How did you personally learn to cultivate the art of looking the beauty or looking at the source of beauty in turbulent times?
  • what do you tell yourself during the times of fear? If so, what does your inner conversation sound like?
  • Cold shower benefits –  your nervous system needs a kind of periodic shock
  • What questions, what life philosophy questions would you encourage people to ask?
  • What is most important to you in the next phase of your life?
  • How have your personal relationship with your wife has changed or transformed or gotten better?
  • What would you say to your 18 year old about how to live life?
  • and much more

Resources that helped me in the interview preparation:

The Nishant Garg Show:

This show is about helping you live a fulfilled life and my job on this show is to sit with the world class experts to extract the practices, routines and habits to help you live a fulfilled and abundant life. For any question, please contact me.

If you have enjoyed listening to my podcasts, please subscribe to the new podcast updates on Itunes please provide your reviews on Itunes which will really help me. Subscribe to the Newsletter. You won’t be spammed! I hate spams too! You will receive only one email every Friday on the latest published podcasts.

If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in growing this little show. I also love reading reviews! Instructions are: a)If you’re on an iPhone, simply scroll down to “Reviews” inside the Podcasts app. b) If you’re on a desktop, click on “Listen on Apple Podcasts” under “The Nishant Garg Show.” Once inside iTunes, click on “Ratings and Reviews” and you’re set.

Courage and Hope for Love and Broken Heart

This post isn’t about habits and practices to achieve something, but rather being hopeful during the times of distress, darkness and when our heart is broken. Being hopeful isn’t easy when we are discouraged and disappointed. If ever you feel emotionally down, I encourage you to just be with your emotions and cry if you want to. Call a trusted person if you need to talk it out. Write about your hurt. There’s no timeline for the emotional processing and there shouldn’t be. Take whatever amount of time you need to embrace the suck, and then try to find to some hope for betterment of future.

I hope this post brings some hope to you if you are feeling discouraged in some way, if you’re having not-so-good day, or in any situation. Hope is completely free to tap into. Hope will serve you the best when you only feel your unpleasant emotions. Departing from the sad emotions and trying to feel hopeful seems to me a divorce from yourself and from your emotions.

Below, you’re going to read my free flow journaling after a hurtful episode right after an enjoying experience. Shouldn’t life to be experienced in all its flavors? My hope for you to find solace inside you. Here it starts…

“I was feeling in flow, enjoying singing and dancing by the pool. Then, all of a sudden, I felt rejected. This particular woman didn’t want to see me again. I really felt deep hurt, disappointed.

I just feels like to start all over again with the new person. I see a ray of light followed by the anxiousness of what will happen next. The ray of light brings a sense of hope, hope of love, connection, physical and emotional intimacy, and sexual intimacy. And, again, I see the dark clouds.

Sadness pour into my heart. I cry. I look back in life and feel the same patterns repeating itself. I feel hopeless. I ask myself – will I ever find a loving partner? I question myself. I doubt myself.

On one hand, I really want to feel my emotions and just cry. On another hand, I hear a voice to be strong, courageous, and hopeful. I ask – how long should I be hopeful? I don’t know the answer. Every time, the hopes to meet someone get shattered and my heart gets broken into small pieces. I feel the disappointments.

I know, sometime soon, I will see a ray of hope and collect the broken pieces of my heart. I know, I will start again on the journey of seeking happy and healthy love.

Now, I take a stand to heal my broken courage. I am showing courage to let my heart break into pieces, and to see hope for love over and over. Every darkness is followed by light. Every light is followed by darkness.

It’s the courage to swing between light and dark. I see myself on the dark end of this spectrum of life. I am telling myself to be hopeful again because light awaits for me on the other end. I get to be patient, allow myself to feel the pain of this wound – the pain of broken heart.

The more I feel, I more I see the light, the hope, and the courage to start walking again. Every night is followed by morning. Every morning is followed by the night. I could feel her touch, her kiss, and tears rolled over my cheeks.

I shouted – why does this happen to me again and again? I feel rejected. I switch off the room lights and just want to cry. It’s dark and lonely and I only see the clouds of sadness. I couldn’t change what happened.

I see courage and I’m willing to show up again.

Grief always come uninvited when someone leaves you even after one meeting. I want to surrender. I want to let it go. I am on my feet again with confidence, hope and courage to do it again. I feel OK to let myself wound, and do it again and again with hope.

I am hopeful. I am courageous.”


The Nishant Garg Show:

This show is about helping you live a fulfilled life and my job on this show is to sit with the world class experts to extract the practices, routines and habits to help you live a fulfilled and abundant life. For any question, please contact me.

If you have enjoyed listening to my podcasts, please subscribe to the new podcast updates on Itunes please provide your reviews on Itunes which will really help me. Subscribe to the Newsletter. You won’t be spammed! I hate spams too! You will receive only one email every Friday on the latest published podcasts.

If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in growing this little show. I also love reading reviews! Instructions are: a)If you’re on an iPhone, simply scroll down to “Reviews” inside the Podcasts app. b) If you’re on a desktop, click on “Listen on Apple Podcasts” under “The Nishant Garg Show.” Once inside iTunes, click on “Ratings and Reviews” and you’re set.

Marisa Porges, Head of The Baldwin School — The Habit of Obsessive Note-Taking, The Power of Connection, Military Veteran, Building Adaptability and Courage, The Effort to Keep Going, Taking Risks, and More (#151)

“Things change so quickly and it’s really about incremental changes that have a lasting difference to make the world better.”

-Marisa

Dr. Marisa Porges is known for her work on gender and education, leadership, and national security and is the author of What Girls Need: How to Raise Bold, Courageous, and Resilient Women (Viking Press, 2020). She is currently the eighth Head of School of The Baldwin School, a 130-year-old all-girls school outside of Philadelphia, that is renowned for academic excellence and preparing girls to be leaders and changemakers. She is an alumna of Baldwin and personally understands the power of its approach to educating girls: it provided the foundation for her own military service and work on national security and foreign affairs.

Prior to joining Baldwin, Dr. Porges was a leading counterterrorism and national security expert. Most recently, she served in the Obama White House as a senior policy advisor and White House Fellow at the National Economic Council, where she oversaw the development of domestic cybersecurity and consumer protection policies. She also has served as a research fellow at Harvard Kennedy School and at the Council on Foreign Relations, where her research focused on counterterrorism. In these roles, she traveled alone throughout the Middle East and Afghanistan to conduct research, interview former members of Al Qaeda and the Taliban, meet with Syrian rebel fighters in hiding, and serve as an embedded civilian advisor at NATO military headquarters in Afghanistan. She also worked as a counterterrorism policy advisor in the U.S. Department of Treasury and as a foreign affairs advisor in the U.S. Department of Defense. In all these roles, she stood out as one of a few – if not the only – women present, at any given time. 

Dr. Porges started her career on active duty in the U.S. Navy, flying jets off carriers as a naval flight officer on EA-6B Prowlers. Ten years after the Navy first allowed women to fly jets into combat, she pursued her dream of being launched off an aircraft carrier while serving her country. She earned a B.A. in geophysics from Harvard, an MSc from the London School of Economics, and a PhD in war studies from King’s College London. Her awards include the National Committee on American Foreign Policy 21st Century Leader Award and the NATO Medal for service in Afghanistan. Dr. Porges lives outside of Philadelphia, with her family.

Please enjoy!

Marisa’s new book: What Girls Need: How to Raise Bold, Courageous, and Resilient Women

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, or on your favorite platform

This podcast is brought to you by Newsletter. If you’d like to learn more about what I am reading, new documentaries, what I am learning new, recent podcast updates, things I am experimenting with, or anything —which I share extensively in my weekly short and sweet “Friday Newsletter”. No spam ever! I hate that too!

Connect with Marisa:

Website | Book | LinkedIn | Twitter

Download Audio:

Stream the audio here

Download this audio by right click and choose “save as”

Show Notes:

  • You talk about playing video games to build our creativity and to solve creative problems. Why is that?
  • What kind of video games did you play while growing up?
  • Announcing the intention to leave the national security space
  • Graduated from Baldwin in school in 1996
  • Could you tell us a little bit about the school for our listeners who may not be knowing about Baldwin?
  • When you were in school as, as a student, did you face any challenge working in a girls school?
  • Sharing a memorable story from the childhood
  • How did you develop this passion for air wings, Navy military at a very young age?
  • Exposed to London school of economics
  • What was your motivation to study War Studies?
  • How to respond to emergencies
  • Nurturing courage
  • Whenever you test something new, what parameters or what constraints rules do you set for yourself before trying?
  • Risk assessment – What’s the worst that can happen?
  • Why do you think people don’t like to take lots of risks or what blocks to take risks?
  • You mentioned about carrying notebook in your hand while at airports, what did you write in those notebook?
  • Learning the power of connection
  • Did your parents instill any specific values in you when you were growing up?
  • Breaking resilience into core skills
  • Book writing process
  • and much more

Resources that helped me in the interview preparation:

The Nishant Garg Show:

This show is about helping you live a fulfilled life and my job on this show is to sit with the world class experts to extract the practices, routines and habits to help you live a fulfilled and abundant life. For any question, please contact me.

If you have enjoyed listening to my podcasts, please subscribe to the new podcast updates on Itunes please provide your reviews on Itunes which will really help me. Subscribe to the Newsletter. You won’t be spammed! I hate spams too! You will receive only one email every Friday on the latest published podcasts.

If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in growing this little show. I also love reading reviews! Instructions are: a)If you’re on an iPhone, simply scroll down to “Reviews” inside the Podcasts app. b) If you’re on a desktop, click on “Listen on Apple Podcasts” under “The Nishant Garg Show.” Once inside iTunes, click on “Ratings and Reviews” and you’re set.

Daphne Rose Kingma — Finding True Love, Coming Apart, Why Relationships End, Living Through Crisis, and More (#150)

“You know how out of date so many of us are with ourselves, we’ve just stacked up all this stuff; all this psychological clutter.”

-Daphne

Daphne Rose Kingma is a best selling author, beloved emotional healer, spiritual guide, relationship expert, keynote speaker, and workshop leader. She is the author of a dozen books about love and relationships, among them the best-sellers COMING APART: Why Relationships End and How to Live Through the Ending of YoursTHE FUTURE OF LOVE: The Power of the Soul in Intimate Relationships as well as the prize-winning (Books for a Better Life Award: Best Spiritual Book of 2010) guide for living through crisis, THE TEN THINGS TO DO WHEN YOUR LIFE FALLS APART. Her new work of fiction, A Spiritual Fairy Tale entitled THE MAGICAL WORLD OF MADAME METIER, was released in July, 2017.

Her books have sold more than a million and a half copies and been translated into 16 languages. Daphne has been on more than a thousand radio and televisions programs including six appearances on Oprah, and been featured in a multitude of print and media outlets.

Dubbed “The Love Doctor” by the San Francisco Chronicle, she has been a workshop leader at the Esalen Institute, Big Sur, California for more than 18 years and has done her signature emotional healing work with individuals, groups and couples for more than three decades.

Books can be found at http://daphnerosekingma.com/books/

Please enjoy!

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, or on your favorite platform

This podcast is brought to you by Newsletter. If you’d like to learn more about what I am reading, new documentaries, what I am learning new, recent podcast updates, things I am experimenting with, or anything —which I share extensively in my weekly short and sweet “Friday Newsletter”. No spam ever! I hate that too!

Connect with Daphne:

Website | Facebook | Books

Download Audio:

Stream the audio here

Download this audio by right click and choose “save as”

People Mentioned:

Books Mentioned:

Show Notes:

  • You are a six time guests on Oprah and then the San Francisco Chronicle dubbed you as the love doctor. Why did they call you as a love doctor?
  • Could you share any story that comes to your mind about your love life, if that is comfortable to you?
  • Meeting with a gentleman in France
  • Could you describe some of the types of the lovers and what kind of a lover are you?
  • Is there any personality type that is conducive to have a good relationship in our life?
  • On people pleasure personalities
  • What is involved in loving oneself and caring for oneself which is each of our own greatest works when it comes to love
  • What can we do to love ourselves and ask others to provide us the kind of love we desire and we need it?
  • How does someone become aware of the origin of their trauma and their childhood issues?
  • You have worked with many individuals, many relationships, many, many relationship couples in your entire career. How would you guide them through becoming aware of their issues that are coming up, which are unresolved?
  • When we start digging around in our pain, All roads lead to our childhood, to what happened there. What exactly happened to me as I was growing up that has made me uncomfortable or incompetent or heartbroken or unable to, to function in these places in my life. And so that pain, I always say the presence of the pain is the promise of the change.
  • What commonalities have you seen, which causes them to suffer in their relationships, in their loving relationships?
  • Self-love
  • What do you think could be the reason of ending our relationships that we are not aware of?
  • What makes a good relationship therapist?
  • The practice of gratitude
  • The power of commonality in a relationship
  • What characteristics or qualities your parents had that made them to have a beautiful relationship?
  • At what point in your life you realize that you needed to write about relationships and spending your whole life in this arena of relationships and helping others?
  • and much more

The Nishant Garg Show:

This show is about helping you live a fulfilled life and my job on this show is to sit with the world class experts to extract the practices, routines and habits to help you live a fulfilled and abundant life. For any question, please contact me.

If you have enjoyed listening to my podcasts, please subscribe to the new podcast updates on Itunes please provide your reviews on Itunes which will really help me. Subscribe to the Newsletter. You won’t be spammed! I hate spams too! You will receive only one email every Friday on the latest published podcasts.

If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in growing this little show. I also love reading reviews! Instructions are: a)If you’re on an iPhone, simply scroll down to “Reviews” inside the Podcasts app. b) If you’re on a desktop, click on “Listen on Apple Podcasts” under “The Nishant Garg Show.” Once inside iTunes, click on “Ratings and Reviews” and you’re set.

Lessons, Realization, and Relationships from Interviewing 150+ Experts

I may have an unhappy day at home. Things may not go right. I can’t control – but when that light goes on, I control my environment. And then, how many people get to control their environment? So, when I hosted a radio show every night or television show every day or wrote a column, I controlled the question I would ask. I controlled my environment.

I may have an unhappy day at home. Things may not go right. I can’t control – but when that light goes on, I control my environment. And then, how many people get to control their environment? So, when I hosted a radio show every night or television show every day or wrote a column, I controlled the question I would ask. I controlled my environment.

– Larry King

As of writing this post, I have interviewed 170+ amazing people who are experts in their own fields since the beginning of 2020. There are many ways to craft interviewing skill. I am not the one with natural talent of listening and curiosity. I really have to practice at it. Of course, you get better with the right practice with measurable outcomes.

To become better at asking good questions — you’ve to study this art, you’ve to study great interviewers. I specifically study Tim Ferriss’s work the way he asks questions on his podcast The Tim Ferriss Show. Cal Fussman is another Master interviewer and who can forget Larry King. Lately, I have been listening to Kathy Caprino’s podcast Finding Brave. Kathy’s energy is amazing and she brings elevated positive mood in the interviews. So, I’d say to you to find those interviewers whose energy and style match with yours.

If you are reading this post, you either have a podcast or interview people in some format. You might already be a great interviewer, or a beginner, or anything in between. I hope this post will help you to fine-tune your interviewing approach. Even if you’re not an interviewer, your ability to ask great questions will give a great advantage in your work, relationships and every where you interact with humans(may be with animals as well).

Here is the big question: “How do you create a great experience for yourself, guests, and the listeners?” I wrote the first part Lessons Learned From Tim Ferriss and Larry King To Interview The Best In The World which will give you more insights and understanding.

Only practice will move you forward. Here you go

1)Don’t be afraid to ask a stupid question:

I asked Kristen Manieri — “when you wake up in the morning , which app do you check first?” I was recording with Laura Bakosh in the morning and I asked her — “what did you have in the breakfast?” She responded — “nothing, she is on an intermittent fasting”..

I asked Marc Lesser that your book name is Seven Practices of a Mindful Leader — “Can this book be used by someone who’s not a leader in any capacity if they want to learn to be mindful”? I asked Tal Ben-Shahar – “Do you consider yourself as introvert or extrovert?”

I ask questions I feel like to ask in the moment without judging anything. In the beginning, it used to be scary to ask such stupid questions. You can only ask stupid questions(or any good follow up question) if you are actively listening. You might think the question as being stupid, yet it might sound like a thought provoking question to the guest. You never know!

I am not going to lie — I was super nervous before the interview with Alisa Cohn. I wanted to start with a lightweight question and actually ended up asking, “How do you coach founders and cofounders in the startup world”? This is a great question and I think it still is a broad question to ask especially after hitting the record button. I try to start with a simple lightweight questions. To my surprise, Alisa liked this question and really enjoyed answering it. An example of a simple question example – “How would your family describe what do you do for a living”?

I remind myself to go with a curious mind because I can only control my questions and can’t control what guests may interpret. I asked Amy Coleman – “what kind of a doctor are you?”

So, folks, listen up, and then ask if you really want to ask. The worst case is If they(guests) don’t like it or you are not satisfied with the answer or you think it may not serve your audience – edit it out. Simple! No big deal!

2) Control the environment: “If you can control it, then do it. If you can’t, then let it go”. We all have heard of it. 

In the interview, even though I am a passive driver, yet it’s up to me how I want to navigate the conversation. It’s a constant practice to be in the moment, actively listening, coming up with the follow up questions, and moving to another topic. I don’t have an innate talent for this and I have been able to practice this with 170+ guests(as of writing this post). Yes, asking good/great questions is a skill and can be cultivated.

I can try to control the interview by controlling the kind of questions I want to ask. It also depends a lot on my preparation. I spend a few hours going through the guest’s profiles including books, blogs, or anything they have done in their lifetime. Most of the time, I try to ask questions and cover topics I am personally excited about and want to learn. This is something I can control for sure. I can’t control what questions or topics my audience want to learn — unless they send me questions via email or social.

I remember this particular instance in my interview with Megan McDonough. She was explaining about the process of Living with EASE and then went on to explaining about her CORE values. I was actively listening and asked a follow up question: “How do you live your core value of love when you have a conflict with a member of your family”? 

Every episode on the podcast sounds different because I try to be in the moment and not worrying about other things. If I come up with a great question, it’s in the moment. Tomorrow, I may not come up with good questions. Who knows! So, do your preparation, and then go with it. That’s what I tell myself every single time.

3) Don’t Judge yourself for anything: Do you ever feel scared to ask a deep personal question to a good friend? Sometimes, I do, and sometimes I don’t. If my intention is to learn about that person, I will ask deep questions — which requires vulnerability. It may not be easier to ask deep questions to people whom you may not know very well. You may think what if they get offended, and what if you might come across as interrogating them, etc. etc.

In an interview, the intention is clear that you will be asking questions.  Simple! Asking questions is a craft. You won’t get it right if you haven’t practiced this skill before. You may not always get it right even when you have some or more experience. We all want to look good and are afraid of sounding stupid in front of others. But, that’s OK. If you go with a curious mind to learn about another person as a human being, you will feel less scared and you have less anxiety.

When I just started the podcast, I was not comfortable asking deep personal questions and in fact, I did not do in the first few episodes. Later on, I realized that my guests have been interviewed hundreds and thousands of times. I asked myself “How can I create a great emotional experience for them“? To create this experience, I had to go deeper which required active listening. I suggest you to practice listening in a way that you could ask a follow up question and still be able to navigate to other questions and topics. It’s going to take some time to get to this point. So, listen up, my friend and keep practicing.

Example: I asked Jill Bolte Taylor — “what do you do for fun?” This question may sound stupid, but I am coming from a place of curiosity.

I am in the moment. If I am not in the moment and just thinking about the next question, I might lose some good touch points. Every story brings tons of follow up questions and you can ask follow up questions with these keywords — “how did you feel in the situation X or when Y happened? What did you do…..? “HOW, WHAT, WHY”. I remember recording with Nicole Tetreault and she was discussing her deceased mother. I was in the moment and I asked – “what would you tell your mom if she is listening to this conversation”?

I don’t judge myself for any questions I ask. I try to analyze the interview later from a place of Compassionate Inquiry and not to beat myself up.

I remember two instances(very early in the podcasting) when I wasn’t sure how the interview went with Guy Kawasaki and Garrain Jones. I was analyzing too much. Perhaps I was unconsciously trying to judge the whole situation and later on I just told myself — “I did, what I did. I can’t change the outcome. I was in the moment. “

Some question might work great for one person and may not work for another. You can’t control that. You can only control yourself, you can only control your thinking and question. So never be afraid of asking stupid questions. You learn when you are curious. Be in the moment. Listen up!

4) Putting guests at ease before hitting the record: Psychological dynamics change when the record button is pressed. As Tim Ferriss says “you could interview a hundred people without a microphone and recording equipment, but as soon as you’re holding a mic, you’re hitting record, it’s being preserved, the psychological dynamics are different.” Check the full interview of Tim Ferriss and Cal Fussman here

I literally tell my guests that “there is no expectation from you. If you are not comfortable talking about anything, let’s not talk about it.” I also tell them if I ask a follow up question that makes you uncomfortable, you can pass it. This interview is editable. So, do not worry. I want you to feel relaxed and comfortable.”

5. You don’t have to know all the questions before the interview. Prepare for it, spend some time before the interview and think about what topics you might want to cover. I go with the intention of creating a master class that is timeless. This helps me in staying grounded and be present (mostly).

6) My style is getting concrete. Henna Inam was sharing about compassion practice. I asked a follow up question: “can you share any instance when you felt challenged to be compassionate?” Always try to ask for specific instances and examples . Some examples look like — “Could you give us an example of X”. “Would you mind giving an example that comes to your mind”?

7) Going with the mindset of I don’t know. I tend to ask questions which I don’t know and personally want to learn from guests. I can’t control and don’t always know what the audience wants. This mindset helps me to stay curious. I also let the guests know that “I am deep in the ignorance pool – please educate me.”

In the earlier days, one of the challenging interview was with Mickra Hamilton who’s a pioneer in the Epigenetics and human precision system. I didn’t know anything about the topic. I asked so many simple and dumb questions that luckily made the interview very well. Now, she and I are good friends.

And, the same thing happened in the interview with Inna Khazan on the topic of Biofeedback. I strongly feel that curiosity will always make the interview good, and in most cases — excellent. Another example is with the Raj Raghunathan. He was sharing the morning rituals, and when he shared about the breakfast banana shake — I asked him the recipe of the shake. My intention is to create a deep connection with the interviewees.

I hope this helps you! Happy Interviewing! If you’d like to get my help in your interview process, reach out to me!

The Nishant Garg Show:

This show is about helping you live a fulfilled life and my job on this show is to sit with the world class experts to extract the practices, routines and habits to help you live a fulfilled and abundant life. For any question, please contact me.

If you have enjoyed listening to my podcasts, please subscribe to the new podcast updates on Itunes please provide your reviews on Itunes which will really help me. Subscribe to the Newsletter. You won’t be spammed! I hate spams too! You will receive only one email every Friday on the latest published podcasts.

If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in growing this little show. I also love reading reviews! Instructions are: a)If you’re on an iPhone, simply scroll down to “Reviews” inside the Podcasts app. b) If you’re on a desktop, click on “Listen on Apple Podcasts” under “The Nishant Garg Show.” Once inside iTunes, click on “Ratings and Reviews” and you’re set.

Dr. Jannell MacAulay on Human Performance, High Performance under Stress, Digital Detox, Overcoming Adversity, Healthy Living, and More (#149)

“The sky’s the limit. If I could dream it, I could become it..”

-Jannell

Dr. Jannell MacAulay is a combat veteran who served 20 years in the U.S. Air Force, as a pilot, commander, special operations consultant, international diplomat, and professionalism instructor. With her innovative leadership style, she was the first leader to introduce mindfulness as a proactive performance strategy within the United States military. Throughout her career she gained experience leading and building teams, designing & implementing complex organizational change, and creating innovative solutions to optimize the human weapon system when operating in rugged and high-stress environments. With over 3000 flying hours in the C-21, C-130, & KC-10, and extensive education in performance and wellness, she specializes in high-performance under stress with a holistic approach.

She currently serves as a Leadership and Human Performance consultant for the Department of Defense, government sector, and corporate America. She is the co-founder of Warrior’s Edge, a high-performance mindset training program she developed with Pete Carroll of the Seattle Seahawks and high-performance sports psychologist, Dr. Michael Gervais.

Dr. MacAulay is a graduate of the U.S. Air Force Academy, has a Masters Degree in Kinesiology from The Pennsylvania State University, and a Ph.D. with work in the field of strategic health & human performance. She is a certified wellness educator, yoga instructor, and holds a certificate in plant-based nutrition. Dr. MacAulay is a TEDx speaker, military spouse, and mother of two, who is on a mission to help individuals excel in high-stress and rugged environments, by showing them how to lean into each moment to find their best selves.

Please enjoy!

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, or on your favorite platform

This podcast is brought to you by Newsletter. If you’d like to learn more about what I am reading, new documentaries, what I am learning new, recent podcast updates, things I am experimenting with, or anything —which I share extensively in my weekly short and sweet “Friday Newsletter”. No spam ever! I hate that too!

Connect with Jannell:

Website | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn

Download Audio:

Stream the audio here

Download this audio by right click and choose “save as”

People Mentioned:

Books Mentioned:

Show Notes:

  • Mindful minute exercise
  • Need for self care and recovery on a path that’s driven by high performance and commitment and dedication and hard work
  • What was your relationship like with your parents while growing up?
  • Overcoming adversity and pushing against the norm
  • Could you recommend some of the practices to manage our negative emotions and feelings?
  • Understanding the WHY of mindfulness
  • What are your preferred fun activities to do in nature?
  • Cultivating awareness
  • Hashtag oxygen time
  • and much more

The Nishant Garg Show:

This show is about helping you live a fulfilled life and my job on this show is to sit with the world class experts to extract the practices, routines and habits to help you live a fulfilled and abundant life. For any question, please contact me.

If you have enjoyed listening to my podcasts, please subscribe to the new podcast updates on Itunes please provide your reviews on Itunes which will really help me. Subscribe to the Newsletter. You won’t be spammed! I hate spams too! You will receive only one email every Friday on the latest published podcasts.

If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in growing this little show. I also love reading reviews! Instructions are: a)If you’re on an iPhone, simply scroll down to “Reviews” inside the Podcasts app. b) If you’re on a desktop, click on “Listen on Apple Podcasts” under “The Nishant Garg Show.” Once inside iTunes, click on “Ratings and Reviews” and you’re set.