Do you have a desire or do you have a longing? (there’s a big difference)

Words longing and desire have been used interchangeably. These are similar and yet not the same. One morning, on my quest to understand the difference between longing and desire, I started to read a bunch of articles. The reason being is to understand is if I am longing to attract a loving partner or I am desiring. I wasn’t sure what it is.

I came across a fantastic article from Janelle Hardy. The article connected with me so deeply that I took the print-out and read it about a dozen times. Later, I reached out to Janelle Hardy to see if I could share that article on my website. And, she said yes. I also subscribed to her newsletter. I’m sure that this article will connect with you at some level. I loved this article so much that I shared the link in one of my Friday Newsletter. Below is a short bio of Janelle Hardy and then the article begins.

If you enjoy this post, please share it with others. Thanks so much. Last but not the least, I subscribed to Janelle’s podcast the Personal Mythmaking Podcast and it’s very calming and heart-touching.

Janelle Hardy is a writer, artist, host of the Personal Mythmaking Podcast and the creator/teacher of a transformational memoir-writing course called The Art of Personal Mythmaking. She’s been working as a trauma-informed bodyworker in the hands-on healing arts fields for 13+ years and as an artist (writing, painting + dance) for 17+ years. Throughout that time she’s taught adults out of her living room, arts centers, universities, and community colleges. For the past 5+ years, she’s integrated all of her expertise, including a BA in Anthropology, an MA in Dance, and a Diploma in Structural Integration, into supporting people in their creative healing work via the alchemy of transformational memoir-writing.

Enter Janelle:

Desire. Desiring. Wanting.

I desire many things. Intensely deep, rich, dark, tarry chocolate. Exercising till I sweat rivers down my back, between my breasts, into my eyes. Soulful conversations that draw me into a deeper understanding of my rich friendships. Belly laughs that turn contagious and nonsensical, ending in fits on the floor, alternating sighing and laughing until fatigue burns through the impulse. Butter that is cultured and snobby, tasting of so much more than just butter, melting on my mouth as my eyes roll back. Losing-my-head sex. Dinner parties with friends, finished off with my mother’s glorious devil’s coffee.

Continue reading “Do you have a desire or do you have a longing? (there’s a big difference)”

How I Approach Busy Powerful People and Influencers — Experimenting with Multiple Templates Included

The podcast “The Nishant Garg Show” started without knowing anyone in the mental health and mindfulness industry. Why am I specific to only the mental health and mindfulness industry? When I reached out to people, usually their first question was “what’s this podcast about?” Therefore, I had to pick a topic that I cared for and had been personally practicing for some time. If I had chosen a topic I wasn’t passionate about, I’d have given very early on. So, the key is to focus on the topics you care about and are passionate about. Fast forward, I’ve covered many other topics such as trauma healing, relationships, leadership, and more, as my interest level grows and I evolve with time. Growth is never a linear process – not sure who said this.

I had to start from somewhere. Some of my kindest friends said yes to being on the show in the beginning to boost my confidence and courage. You will need more courage than confidence when you literally know nothing about podcasting or any new venture. Remember – courage overconfidence.

I knew that if I want to go further, I can’t just rely on a few friends. I had to try something else. To begin with, I started connecting with people on LinkedIn and start pitching my little heart. I had zero experience in cold messaging. As they say, you just start, keep refining your approach with time, and observe what’s working and what’s not.

As of writing this, I must have done thousands of cold-pitches. I had a lofty goal since the beginning although I didn’t know where exactly I want this podcast to go. My only intention was “building skills and developing connections” in this process even if I stop doing this so-called podcasting. I, personally, am not a fan of “networking” as I am a person who likes to create deeper connections with a few souls only. I don’t believe in creating superficial connections with many-many bodies.

Cold pitching is not an easy thing. Know that, busy people and influencers won’t have time to respond to you even when you have got a perfect pitch. When I was approaching someone busy (almost everyone was busier than me ;)), I always made sure to keep it short, sweet, and clear, and tried to make it easy enough for them to respond with either YES or NO. Did this approach work? Yes, it did get me to this stage, but not all the time. Most of the time, I didn’t get any response. It was a practice ground for me to become comfortable with NOs and No Responses, and still is.

Your patience is going to be tested. When you don’t have credibility, it’s really difficult to get people to say YES. However, it’s possible though. It’s a numbers game. When you’re just starting, don’t start with reaching out to people with a huge following – I did that mistake so many times early on. Your message will be lost in the overwhelming requests they receive or you will get a NO from their assistants. Here is the thing, be nicer to the assistants – they are the gatekeeper and they can let you in. So, be nice even when they say NO. You never know when the equation changes.

I realized that if I approach 100 people, at least 10 would say YES. That’s it. That’s all you need. It’s a numbers game. Now, after launching 167+ episodes, I very rarely cold-pitch people and I purely rely on referrals and connections.

Cold pitching is very time-consuming and I strongly believe that it’s the best option for anyone starting afresh. In this process, you will learn to take NOs and rejections less personally. Busy people already have a lot on their plate, hence, the timing and luck definitely matter.

I was lucky enough to get some big influencers (Guy Kawasaki) early on. Maybe, they read my emails when they were in a happy mood or less busy, who knows.

The first step is to test with different email templates. Be precise and clear with your message about why you’re reaching them. Don’t write pages of emails – no one has time for that.

Don’t be pushy and salesy. Follow up 2-3 times over the weeks/months. It’s ok if you don’t get a response. The world is full of amazing people. If one says no, there is always another amazing person who will say yes. NO isn’t a rejection if we look at it from different. It simply is that they are not enrolled in your mission.

In my messages/emails, I showed empathy at the end by giving them a clear exit if they don’t have time to respond or were uninterested in my pursuit. Ex: I understand that you get such an inbound request all the time, and If you have read my email this far, it means a lot to me. I am not in a rush to do this. Thanks in advance.

Two books, which really helped in understanding the purpose and mission, and being comfortable with rejections, are The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life and The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact.

I started capturing each cold pitch that worked for me in my go-to Evernote. To inspire you that it’s possible to make this happen from zero level, I’ve copied some pitches below. Nobody wants to be enrolled in a podcast; therefore, I had to create a mission and purpose around it, because we all human beings want to be part of a bigger purpose. I am glad to share that this little show is helping some people live a fulfilled and abundant life and they are the source of ripple effects.

Template 1:

“Hello X, I hope you are well and I will be brief here.

My name is Nishant. I’m originally from India and now live in Austin, Texas, USA. I am an Engineer and the Podcast host of the show “The Nishant Garg Show” where I invite world-class experts including Researchers, Psychologists, Business Tycoons, Mindfulness Experts, etc,  to share tools and practices to improve the quality of life. I am on a mission to help people live a fulfilled life and live more mindfully.

You have been on my mind for a while and have heard about you many times on Tim Ferriss and The Trauma Therapist Podcast. Thank you for making a difference in society.
My intention from this email is to invite you to my podcast as a guest, and I’d be honored to have you join me in this mission and share your wisdom with the listeners. As of writing this email, I have published 112 episodes in just 10 months. I understand that you get such an inbound request all the time, and If you have read my email this far, it means a lot to me. I am not in a rush to do this. Thanks in advance.

Much Love to you and Gratitude.”

Continue reading “How I Approach Busy Powerful People and Influencers — Experimenting with Multiple Templates Included”

Courage and Hope for Love and Broken Heart

This post isn’t about habits and practices to achieve something, but rather being hopeful during the times of distress, darkness and when our heart is broken. Being hopeful isn’t easy when we are discouraged and disappointed. If ever you feel emotionally down, I encourage you to just be with your emotions and cry if you want to. Call a trusted person if you need to talk it out. Write about your hurt. There’s no timeline for the emotional processing and there shouldn’t be. Take whatever amount of time you need to embrace the suck, and then try to find to some hope for betterment of future.

I hope this post brings some hope to you if you are feeling discouraged in some way, if you’re having not-so-good day, or in any situation. Hope is completely free to tap into. Hope will serve you the best when you only feel your unpleasant emotions. Departing from the sad emotions and trying to feel hopeful seems to me a divorce from yourself and from your emotions.

Below, you’re going to read my free flow journaling after a hurtful episode right after an enjoying experience. Shouldn’t life to be experienced in all its flavors? My hope for you to find solace inside you. Here it starts…

“I was feeling in flow, enjoying singing and dancing by the pool. Then, all of a sudden, I felt rejected. This particular woman didn’t want to see me again. I really felt deep hurt, disappointed.

I just feels like to start all over again with the new person. I see a ray of light followed by the anxiousness of what will happen next. The ray of light brings a sense of hope, hope of love, connection, physical and emotional intimacy, and sexual intimacy. And, again, I see the dark clouds.

Sadness pour into my heart. I cry. I look back in life and feel the same patterns repeating itself. I feel hopeless. I ask myself – will I ever find a loving partner? I question myself. I doubt myself.

On one hand, I really want to feel my emotions and just cry. On another hand, I hear a voice to be strong, courageous, and hopeful. I ask – how long should I be hopeful? I don’t know the answer. Every time, the hopes to meet someone get shattered and my heart gets broken into small pieces. I feel the disappointments.

I know, sometime soon, I will see a ray of hope and collect the broken pieces of my heart. I know, I will start again on the journey of seeking happy and healthy love.

Now, I take a stand to heal my broken courage. I am showing courage to let my heart break into pieces, and to see hope for love over and over. Every darkness is followed by light. Every light is followed by darkness.

It’s the courage to swing between light and dark. I see myself on the dark end of this spectrum of life. I am telling myself to be hopeful again because light awaits for me on the other end. I get to be patient, allow myself to feel the pain of this wound – the pain of broken heart.

The more I feel, I more I see the light, the hope, and the courage to start walking again. Every night is followed by morning. Every morning is followed by the night. I could feel her touch, her kiss, and tears rolled over my cheeks.

I shouted – why does this happen to me again and again? I feel rejected. I switch off the room lights and just want to cry. It’s dark and lonely and I only see the clouds of sadness. I couldn’t change what happened.

I see courage and I’m willing to show up again.

Grief always come uninvited when someone leaves you even after one meeting. I want to surrender. I want to let it go. I am on my feet again with confidence, hope and courage to do it again. I feel OK to let myself wound, and do it again and again with hope.

I am hopeful. I am courageous.”


The Nishant Garg Show:

This show is about helping you live a fulfilled life and my job on this show is to sit with the world class experts to extract the practices, routines and habits to help you live a fulfilled and abundant life. For any question, please contact me.

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