Courage and Hope for Love and Broken Heart

This post isn’t about habits and practices to achieve something, but rather being hopeful during the times of distress, darkness and when our heart is broken. Being hopeful isn’t easy when we are discouraged and disappointed. If ever you feel emotionally down, I encourage you to just be with your emotions and cry if you want to. Call a trusted person if you need to talk it out. Write about your hurt. There’s no timeline for the emotional processing and there shouldn’t be. Take whatever amount of time you need to embrace the suck, and then try to find to some hope for betterment of future.

I hope this post brings some hope to you if you are feeling discouraged in some way, if you’re having not-so-good day, or in any situation. Hope is completely free to tap into. Hope will serve you the best when you only feel your unpleasant emotions. Departing from the sad emotions and trying to feel hopeful seems to me a divorce from yourself and from your emotions.

Below, you’re going to read my free flow journaling after a hurtful episode right after an enjoying experience. Shouldn’t life to be experienced in all its flavors? My hope for you to find solace inside you. Here it starts…

“I was feeling in flow, enjoying singing and dancing by the pool. Then, all of a sudden, I felt rejected. This particular woman didn’t want to see me again. I really felt deep hurt, disappointed.

I just feels like to start all over again with the new person. I see a ray of light followed by the anxiousness of what will happen next. The ray of light brings a sense of hope, hope of love, connection, physical and emotional intimacy, and sexual intimacy. And, again, I see the dark clouds.

Sadness pour into my heart. I cry. I look back in life and feel the same patterns repeating itself. I feel hopeless. I ask myself – will I ever find a loving partner? I question myself. I doubt myself.

On one hand, I really want to feel my emotions and just cry. On another hand, I hear a voice to be strong, courageous, and hopeful. I ask – how long should I be hopeful? I don’t know the answer. Every time, the hopes to meet someone get shattered and my heart gets broken into small pieces. I feel the disappointments.

I know, sometime soon, I will see a ray of hope and collect the broken pieces of my heart. I know, I will start again on the journey of seeking happy and healthy love.

Now, I take a stand to heal my broken courage. I am showing courage to let my heart break into pieces, and to see hope for love over and over. Every darkness is followed by light. Every light is followed by darkness.

It’s the courage to swing between light and dark. I see myself on the dark end of this spectrum of life. I am telling myself to be hopeful again because light awaits for me on the other end. I get to be patient, allow myself to feel the pain of this wound – the pain of broken heart.

The more I feel, I more I see the light, the hope, and the courage to start walking again. Every night is followed by morning. Every morning is followed by the night. I could feel her touch, her kiss, and tears rolled over my cheeks.

I shouted – why does this happen to me again and again? I feel rejected. I switch off the room lights and just want to cry. It’s dark and lonely and I only see the clouds of sadness. I couldn’t change what happened.

I see courage and I’m willing to show up again.

Grief always come uninvited when someone leaves you even after one meeting. I want to surrender. I want to let it go. I am on my feet again with confidence, hope and courage to do it again. I feel OK to let myself wound, and do it again and again with hope.

I am hopeful. I am courageous.”


The Nishant Garg Show:

This show is about helping you live a fulfilled life and my job on this show is to sit with the world class experts to extract the practices, routines and habits to help you live a fulfilled and abundant life. For any question, please contact me.

If you have enjoyed listening to my podcasts, please subscribe to the new podcast updates on Itunes please provide your reviews on Itunes which will really help me. Subscribe to the Newsletter. You won’t be spammed! I hate spams too! You will receive only one email every Friday on the latest published podcasts.

If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in growing this little show. I also love reading reviews! Instructions are: a)If you’re on an iPhone, simply scroll down to “Reviews” inside the Podcasts app. b) If you’re on a desktop, click on “Listen on Apple Podcasts” under “The Nishant Garg Show.” Once inside iTunes, click on “Ratings and Reviews” and you’re set.

Lessons, Realization, and Relationships from Interviewing 150+ Experts

I may have an unhappy day at home. Things may not go right. I can’t control – but when that light goes on, I control my environment. And then, how many people get to control their environment? So, when I hosted a radio show every night or television show every day or wrote a column, I controlled the question I would ask. I controlled my environment.

I may have an unhappy day at home. Things may not go right. I can’t control – but when that light goes on, I control my environment. And then, how many people get to control their environment? So, when I hosted a radio show every night or television show every day or wrote a column, I controlled the question I would ask. I controlled my environment.

– Larry King

As of writing this post, I have interviewed 170+ amazing people who are experts in their own fields since the beginning of 2020. There are many ways to craft interviewing skill. I am not the one with natural talent of listening and curiosity. I really have to practice at it. Of course, you get better with the right practice with measurable outcomes.

To become better at asking good questions — you’ve to study this art, you’ve to study great interviewers. I specifically study Tim Ferriss’s work the way he asks questions on his podcast The Tim Ferriss Show. Cal Fussman is another Master interviewer and who can forget Larry King. Lately, I have been listening to Kathy Caprino’s podcast Finding Brave. Kathy’s energy is amazing and she brings elevated positive mood in the interviews. So, I’d say to you to find those interviewers whose energy and style match with yours.

If you are reading this post, you either have a podcast or interview people in some format. You might already be a great interviewer, or a beginner, or anything in between. I hope this post will help you to fine-tune your interviewing approach. Even if you’re not an interviewer, your ability to ask great questions will give a great advantage in your work, relationships and every where you interact with humans(may be with animals as well).

Here is the big question: “How do you create a great experience for yourself, guests, and the listeners?” I wrote the first part Lessons Learned From Tim Ferriss and Larry King To Interview The Best In The World which will give you more insights and understanding.

Only practice will move you forward. Here you go

1)Don’t be afraid to ask a stupid question:

I asked Kristen Manieri — “when you wake up in the morning , which app do you check first?” I was recording with Laura Bakosh in the morning and I asked her — “what did you have in the breakfast?” She responded — “nothing, she is on an intermittent fasting”..

I asked Marc Lesser that your book name is Seven Practices of a Mindful Leader — “Can this book be used by someone who’s not a leader in any capacity if they want to learn to be mindful”? I asked Tal Ben-Shahar – “Do you consider yourself as introvert or extrovert?”

I ask questions I feel like to ask in the moment without judging anything. In the beginning, it used to be scary to ask such stupid questions. You can only ask stupid questions(or any good follow up question) if you are actively listening. You might think the question as being stupid, yet it might sound like a thought provoking question to the guest. You never know!

I am not going to lie — I was super nervous before the interview with Alisa Cohn. I wanted to start with a lightweight question and actually ended up asking, “How do you coach founders and cofounders in the startup world”? This is a great question and I think it still is a broad question to ask especially after hitting the record button. I try to start with a simple lightweight questions. To my surprise, Alisa liked this question and really enjoyed answering it. An example of a simple question example – “How would your family describe what do you do for a living”?

I remind myself to go with a curious mind because I can only control my questions and can’t control what guests may interpret. I asked Amy Coleman – “what kind of a doctor are you?”

So, folks, listen up, and then ask if you really want to ask. The worst case is If they(guests) don’t like it or you are not satisfied with the answer or you think it may not serve your audience – edit it out. Simple! No big deal!

2) Control the environment: “If you can control it, then do it. If you can’t, then let it go”. We all have heard of it. 

In the interview, even though I am a passive driver, yet it’s up to me how I want to navigate the conversation. It’s a constant practice to be in the moment, actively listening, coming up with the follow up questions, and moving to another topic. I don’t have an innate talent for this and I have been able to practice this with 170+ guests(as of writing this post). Yes, asking good/great questions is a skill and can be cultivated.

I can try to control the interview by controlling the kind of questions I want to ask. It also depends a lot on my preparation. I spend a few hours going through the guest’s profiles including books, blogs, or anything they have done in their lifetime. Most of the time, I try to ask questions and cover topics I am personally excited about and want to learn. This is something I can control for sure. I can’t control what questions or topics my audience want to learn — unless they send me questions via email or social.

I remember this particular instance in my interview with Megan McDonough. She was explaining about the process of Living with EASE and then went on to explaining about her CORE values. I was actively listening and asked a follow up question: “How do you live your core value of love when you have a conflict with a member of your family”? 

Every episode on the podcast sounds different because I try to be in the moment and not worrying about other things. If I come up with a great question, it’s in the moment. Tomorrow, I may not come up with good questions. Who knows! So, do your preparation, and then go with it. That’s what I tell myself every single time.

3) Don’t Judge yourself for anything: Do you ever feel scared to ask a deep personal question to a good friend? Sometimes, I do, and sometimes I don’t. If my intention is to learn about that person, I will ask deep questions — which requires vulnerability. It may not be easier to ask deep questions to people whom you may not know very well. You may think what if they get offended, and what if you might come across as interrogating them, etc. etc.

In an interview, the intention is clear that you will be asking questions.  Simple! Asking questions is a craft. You won’t get it right if you haven’t practiced this skill before. You may not always get it right even when you have some or more experience. We all want to look good and are afraid of sounding stupid in front of others. But, that’s OK. If you go with a curious mind to learn about another person as a human being, you will feel less scared and you have less anxiety.

When I just started the podcast, I was not comfortable asking deep personal questions and in fact, I did not do in the first few episodes. Later on, I realized that my guests have been interviewed hundreds and thousands of times. I asked myself “How can I create a great emotional experience for them“? To create this experience, I had to go deeper which required active listening. I suggest you to practice listening in a way that you could ask a follow up question and still be able to navigate to other questions and topics. It’s going to take some time to get to this point. So, listen up, my friend and keep practicing.

Example: I asked Jill Bolte Taylor — “what do you do for fun?” This question may sound stupid, but I am coming from a place of curiosity.

I am in the moment. If I am not in the moment and just thinking about the next question, I might lose some good touch points. Every story brings tons of follow up questions and you can ask follow up questions with these keywords — “how did you feel in the situation X or when Y happened? What did you do…..? “HOW, WHAT, WHY”. I remember recording with Nicole Tetreault and she was discussing her deceased mother. I was in the moment and I asked – “what would you tell your mom if she is listening to this conversation”?

I don’t judge myself for any questions I ask. I try to analyze the interview later from a place of Compassionate Inquiry and not to beat myself up.

I remember two instances(very early in the podcasting) when I wasn’t sure how the interview went with Guy Kawasaki and Garrain Jones. I was analyzing too much. Perhaps I was unconsciously trying to judge the whole situation and later on I just told myself — “I did, what I did. I can’t change the outcome. I was in the moment. “

Some question might work great for one person and may not work for another. You can’t control that. You can only control yourself, you can only control your thinking and question. So never be afraid of asking stupid questions. You learn when you are curious. Be in the moment. Listen up!

4) Putting guests at ease before hitting the record: Psychological dynamics change when the record button is pressed. As Tim Ferriss says “you could interview a hundred people without a microphone and recording equipment, but as soon as you’re holding a mic, you’re hitting record, it’s being preserved, the psychological dynamics are different.” Check the full interview of Tim Ferriss and Cal Fussman here

I literally tell my guests that “there is no expectation from you. If you are not comfortable talking about anything, let’s not talk about it.” I also tell them if I ask a follow up question that makes you uncomfortable, you can pass it. This interview is editable. So, do not worry. I want you to feel relaxed and comfortable.”

5. You don’t have to know all the questions before the interview. Prepare for it, spend some time before the interview and think about what topics you might want to cover. I go with the intention of creating a master class that is timeless. This helps me in staying grounded and be present (mostly).

6) My style is getting concrete. Henna Inam was sharing about compassion practice. I asked a follow up question: “can you share any instance when you felt challenged to be compassionate?” Always try to ask for specific instances and examples . Some examples look like — “Could you give us an example of X”. “Would you mind giving an example that comes to your mind”?

7) Going with the mindset of I don’t know. I tend to ask questions which I don’t know and personally want to learn from guests. I can’t control and don’t always know what the audience wants. This mindset helps me to stay curious. I also let the guests know that “I am deep in the ignorance pool – please educate me.”

In the earlier days, one of the challenging interview was with Mickra Hamilton who’s a pioneer in the Epigenetics and human precision system. I didn’t know anything about the topic. I asked so many simple and dumb questions that luckily made the interview very well. Now, she and I are good friends.

And, the same thing happened in the interview with Inna Khazan on the topic of Biofeedback. I strongly feel that curiosity will always make the interview good, and in most cases — excellent. Another example is with the Raj Raghunathan. He was sharing the morning rituals, and when he shared about the breakfast banana shake — I asked him the recipe of the shake. My intention is to create a deep connection with the interviewees.

I hope this helps you! Happy Interviewing! If you’d like to get my help in your interview process, reach out to me!

The Nishant Garg Show:

This show is about helping you live a fulfilled life and my job on this show is to sit with the world class experts to extract the practices, routines and habits to help you live a fulfilled and abundant life. For any question, please contact me.

If you have enjoyed listening to my podcasts, please subscribe to the new podcast updates on Itunes please provide your reviews on Itunes which will really help me. Subscribe to the Newsletter. You won’t be spammed! I hate spams too! You will receive only one email every Friday on the latest published podcasts.

If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in growing this little show. I also love reading reviews! Instructions are: a)If you’re on an iPhone, simply scroll down to “Reviews” inside the Podcasts app. b) If you’re on a desktop, click on “Listen on Apple Podcasts” under “The Nishant Garg Show.” Once inside iTunes, click on “Ratings and Reviews” and you’re set.

Erika Flint on Mind-Body Relaxation Techniques, Embodied Hypnosis, Binaural Beats, Two Breath Hypnosis Technique, and Much More (#144)

“Look at your negative self-talk and the next thing is that understand what you do want in your life. And if you don’t know what that is—you have to figure it out. So many people think they have to know their purpose before they start doing something. When in reality start doing something and your purpose will be revealed.”

– Erika

Erika Flint is a Board Certified Hypnotist with the National Guild of Hypnotists, Best-selling Author of Reprogram Your Weight and Lighter, an Accredited Certified Professional Hypnotherapy Instructor, a certified 5-PATH ® hypnotherapist, and a Certified 7th Path ® Self-hypnosis Teacher of the Ultimate 9th Degree. Her background is in computer programming and problem solving. She worked in that field as a Software Engineer for over a decade when she realized how interested she was in the greatest computing device available – the human mind! Now she helps people transform their lives with the power of hypnosis.

She writes articles for hypnosis.org, 5-PATH.org, and has been published in a local magazine called Bellingham Alive. She’s a speaker on hypnosis related topics and has presented her work at the NGH’s annual convention since 2013 where she has helped Hypnotists be more successful in their business by understanding online marketing.

One of her favorite things to do when she’s not instructing or seeing clients is appearing as a co-host on the very popular and free online hypnosis educational series, Cal Banyan’s Hypnosis, Etc.
In 2015, she was awarded the 5-PATH ® Leadership award, and later honored with the distinction of being an Accredited Certified Professional Hypnotherapy Instructor.

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Show Notes:

  • What is your morning routine?
  • What kinds of songs do you listen to in the morning?
  • When did you start creating music in your life?
  • What are binaural beats?
  • Benefits of binaural beats
  • Could you tell us some of your movement exercises?
  •  What kind of questions do you ask yourself while practicing those moment exercises, if any comes to your mind
  • What is your relationship with anger now versus in the past?
  • Two breath hypnosis technique demo
  • Why did you change your career from software engineer?
  • Why did you choose hypnosis?
  • On vagus nerve
  • Polyvagal theory
  • What could be the ways to calm down our vagus nerve
  • Difference between meditation and hypnosis
  • Writing process
  • and much more

The Nishant Garg Show:

This show is about extracting information on Mindfulness, Personal Development, Spirituality. I am on a mission to spread Mindfulness and I’d love for you to join me in this movement.

For any question, please contact me.

If you have enjoyed listening to my podcasts, please subscribe to the new podcast updates on Itunes please provide your reviews on Itunes which will really help me.

Subscribe to the Newsletter. You won’t be spammed! I hate spams too! You will receive only one email every Friday on the latest published podcasts.