Growth Mindset: Navigating Through Failures

Growth Mindset: How I applied this principle in learning English(my second language)

“Mindset” is OK! “Fixed Mindset” can lead to failure! But Growth Mindset” makes the difference.

In this society, we measure a child’s success with his/her performance in school exams. When a child gets EXCELLENT grades, people label them as intelligent. On the other hand. when a child gets mediocre or low grades, people consider them FAILURE, and in-fact some parents don’t think their child will ever be successful in life.

If your child(in case you are a parent) doesn’t perform well in school, it doesn’t mean your child is a failure. If your child does perform well in school, it doesn’t guarantee — — your child will always be successful in life.

Talent doesn’t determine success and destiny. Talent doesn’t guarantee success unless you practice it consistently. You can write your own destiny when you have got an attitude of openness and willingness to grow in life.

GROWTH is the key! It is the PROGRESS that matters!

If you have never failed, you will never know the LIFE. I’ve never met anyone who claims to have never failed.

English is my second language. When I was in junior high school, I flunked English exam by 9 marks(for readers in the USA — -you can think of “marks” as GPA or grades). I can never forget that time. I considered myself a total FAILURE. I felt like the world is over. I couldn’t look into my friend’s eyes during that time. My Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence were shattered because that event was unexpected.

Growth mindset and the ability and conviction to never say NO, and never stop trying. I knew that I will get better at English If I keep practicing. At that time, I didn’t know anything about personal development, and words like Self-Esteem were not in my vocabulary.

In Engineering(2006–2010), my friends used to call me “walking vocabulary” because I had mastered a book called “Barren for GRE”. At that time, International students used to study this book to improve English Vocabulary to study abroad.

I had promised myself that I will never give up on practicing English. I had a Growth Mindset and always think from a growth perspective, no matter what circumstances may show up in life. I used to go to the Library every day for 15 mins during lunch break to read something good to improve my skills.

I also didn’t know about the concept of Growth Mindset, up until the 2 years when I read the book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success”.

Fixed Mindset is — — when you attach your success with any assessment in life. Fixed Mindset people always want to be perfect in life all the time. “Perfection” never exists.

If you’re labeling yourself just based on a failed exam, you’re identifying yourself with FAILURE. Life always tests you and you’re going to fail more than you’re successful. You are not a failure!! You just got failed in a freaking test.

Growth Mindset people never think this way. They simply say — -” it’s OK, I have failed, and how can I improve the situation next time

No one comes to this world with talent and skills. You have to acquire it with hard freaking, consistent work.

A great book to read on Growth Mindset- “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success”. This book has a lot of case studies in all the arenas how top performs got failed and succeeded based on their fixed and growth mindset.

“You are stronger than you think. You can handle this. “Just BELIEVE in yourself and say it a LOUD with me- IT IS POSSIBLE, IT IS POSSIBLE”.

I never knew how to write such articles. I just BELIEVED in myself and self-talked that if “they” can write it, I can also write it.

Have you ever realized that when you’re desperate to achieve your dreams, you keep working at it, and then your inner voice tells you-” dude, who are you kidding? You can’t do this”.

Our Inner Voice often gets in the way of our success and the reason could be — we think we didn’t grow up this way, we didn’t have a good education, we didn’t have right resources, we didn’t have the good political government, and the list goes on and on. Inner Voice says  — “you are not good enough, you are not worthy, you don’t deserve”. The great challenge is to be aware of this and still keep moving.

I understand this and I have been in that situation, but the fact is  — our circumstances have VERY little to do with our success.
When I say success  — it’s a total well being and not just money. I know society compares success with money. What’s the use of money if you aren’t emotionally, mentally, spiritually strong and perhaps wreck your relationships?

The society also measures success with the education and with IQ(Intelligence) level. A recent psychological study depicts that your success only depends on 5% of the IQ. Rest depends on your EQ (Emotional Intelligence) level, meaning how you emotionally manage yourself and deal with other people.

A great book, from Daniel Goleman, to study on Emotional Intelligence who is the pioneer in this field.

Everything in life is a skill and can be learned and nurtured. Some people say  — “oh, he/she has a god gifted talent”. Well, I don’t believe this because God or Universe(whatever name you may call) will never be biased among His children and if you are a parent, you can relate to this.

Even if you have lots of talent — it may be inherited genetically, but if you don’t nourish and tender your talent, it will be of no use with time.

Let’s believe in the Growth and Progress, and know that things can be learned with practice. So, never believe in a fixed trait.

Enjoy!! Farewell!!

Meditation: The Journey of Inner Peace

Mindfulness Matters: I have learned a lot of Patience and Kindness from Meditation. Meditation is simply closing your eyes, embracing your inner silence, observing your thoughts, listening to your emotions and inner-voice, and not being identified — by any feeling and emotion.

I have learned a lot from Meditation. Still getting better and learning new things about myself! Meditation is definitely great practice for the Spiritual Awakening. It has helped me in understanding(still getting better!) my true self, my connection to the universal source and overcoming a lot of worries, stress, fatigue, and tensions.

Whenever I feel overwhelmed and drowning in so many things — I tend to get into my head. It creates stress and anxiety, and as a result, I can’t think properly. Therefore, Meditation is my #1 go-to tool that I can use anytime and anywhere when required.

Meditation is simply closing your eyes, embracing your inner silence, observing your thoughts, listening to your emotions and inner-voice, and not being identified — by any feeling and emotion.

If a human being can learn to RELAX, all the worries, tensions, anxieties and fatigue will have vanished. Most of our worries are due to tension in the muscles. If we can relax our muscles, we can overcome worry. I used to be super worried at one point in my life, and Meditation certainly has helped me feel calm and relaxed.

There is so much noise in this world. We may not always find peace outside of us, but we can definitely find peace inside us. Do you ever sit calmly in relaxation and just do nothing? Doing JUST nothing, and easing and relaxing, in the Meditation form, may not be easy in the beginning. You might be bothered by the evil thoughts, past experiences, and so many things — you name it. Your deep fears and insecurities might show up.

It’s just a warning — you will get better with time — definitely!

When I started Meditation a year ago, I had just given up because whenever I closed my eyes, it was difficult to control thoughts. Then, I decided to keep practicing. Just 20 mins every day can change your life. If you can’t do 20 mins in one sitting, break it down.

You do not have to become a monk or go to the mountains and Himalayas to practice Meditation. You can start practicing wherever you are, In the middle of work or even in the middle of a work meeting(in the form of breathing). You can always focus on your breathing. When you focus on breathing, you literally create awareness and focus and lose a lot of anxiety — according to Brene Brown, in the book The Power of Vulnerability.

Sitting silently for even 5 mins and focusing on your breath can create miracles in your life. There are many people who say they don’t have time for Meditation. They want to do but keeps saying — NO TIME. But they have a lot of time to waste on unnecessary activities.

Meditation is not the only way to create peace within yourself. But what I can tell you from my experience is that I find a solution to every problem in Meditation. I strongly believe that we can get rid of a lot of miseries just by Meditation. All man’s miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone.

Meditation in your daily activities will create a ripple effect and the peace will spill in other areas of life.

The daily practice of Meditation gives me a greater sense of well-being, increased energy and higher productivity, and a close connection to God. Meditation is a way to know God(if you don’t believe in God, please disregard this sentence).

Our mind has 60 thousand thoughts every day and mind is cluttered with so many activities that it is imperative to quiet our mind to manifest what we desire. Sitting quietly creates space between the thoughts in the mind and it is in that space we find peace and stillness.
Meditation helps to create silent gaps between the thoughts and those silent gaps create peaceful sensations in your body and spirit.

There are several forms of Meditation — Transcendental, Guided, and many more.

I, personally, do Transcendental Meditation(mantra based).

The mantras I follow are:

“Release, Release… Calm, Calm… Relaxed, Relaxed…

Om, Om….” [ Mantra “Om” comes from Hinduism]

Meditation, for 20 mins, is my first thing after waking up(of course, after using the bathroom). Now, this has become a habit for me.

There are several benefits of Meditation in terms of how the brain changes. Dr. Joe Dispenza has explained in deep — the real benefits of Meditation.

Other Meditation resources to follow:

How to create Meditation Habit? Set a specific time and place every day. For me(as mentioned above), it’s the first thing in the morning. When and Where — decide for yourself?

If you have never done Meditation — but, feeling inspired because of Scientific and Spiritual benefits, I highly recommend to start with 2 mins, and gradually increase with time. Set a small goal for 2 mins for 3 days. After 3 days — set another goal for 2.5 mins for the next 3 days, and so on. You get my point!! That’s how I started and got to this point of 20 mins.

For beginners — you have a 3-day Meditation challenge. Pick a specific time, place, and time duration. Keep it simple! Please comment on how your challenge comes out after 3 days.

Enjoy!! Farewell!!

Consistency wins over Intensity

Over a long-term consistency ALWAYS wins over intensity.
It is always easy to measure success in the long term than in a short time.
A lot of people give up on their dreams when they don’t see results in the short term.

Over a long-term consistency ALWAYS wins over intensity.

It is always easy to measure success in the long term than in a short time.

A lot of people give up on their dreams when they don’t see results in the short term.

We try to achieve things with intensity. Intensity won’t last long but consistency. Continue reading “Consistency wins over Intensity”

Over a long-term consistency ALWAYS wins over intensity.

It is always easy to measure success in the long term than in a short time.

A lot of people give up on their dreams when they don’t see results in the short term.

We try to achieve things with intensity. Intensity won’t last long but consistency. Continue reading “Consistency wins over Intensity”

Over a long-term consistency ALWAYS wins over intensity.

It is always easy to measure success in the long term than in a short time.

A lot of people give up on their dreams when they don’t see results in the short term.

We try to achieve things with intensity. Intensity won’t last long but consistency. Continue reading “Consistency wins over Intensity”

Gratitude is a Practice

When life sucks, do you incline towards what you don’t have in life or do you just appreciate everything in life?

We all have heard phrases like “Gratitude is an attitude”, “an attitude of gratitude”.

Really?

I have seen a lot of people who have an attitude of gratitude, but they don’t practice gratitude.

When life sucks, do you incline towards what you don’t have in life or do you just appreciate everything in life?

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Brain study and psychological study have proven that gratitude increases happiness and according to Brene Brown, gratitude is a practice.

In her book “the power of vulnerability”, she mentioned that calm and peaceful people constantly practice gratitude. When life isn’t great, they focus their energy on what they have, rather than what they do not have.

In the book “the power of positive thinking”, Norman Vincent Peace mentioned about a very wealthy man who was miserable and had lost all the hope in life and was asked to write down everything he had in life. When he wrote down everything he still had, he was amazed to see he has a lot of things to be grateful and thankful for.

Oprah is known for writing a gratitude journal for many years.

In my gratitude journal, I write all the positive things that happen every day.

You do not have to wait for big things to happen. If a cup of coffee gives you joy, you can be grateful for it and make it part of your journal.

In tough times when I am not feeling so amazing, I practice focusing my energy on what I have, what I have achieved and who I have become.

I try to focus on the opportunities lying ahead and always believe that this is an opportunity for me to grow from it and be grateful to God for putting me in this tough situation because He believes in me and always has a plan.

Choose To Grow

We are spiritual beings having a human experience. We’re not human beings having a spiritual experience. Be kind and be loving.

Let’s talk about spiritual growth.

We are spiritual beings having a human experience. We’re not human beings having a spiritual experience.

When you have hate, anger, and resentment in you, you’re going to put out the same in the universe and you’ll keep attracting the anger over and over.

Be kind and be loving.

Detach yourself from the outcome. Detachment doesn’t mean that you’re the victim.

It just simply means you’re not attached to the outcome and your life is fulfilled without it as well.

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Work on your purpose, mission and you’ll be amazed to see how the universe brings like-minded people in your life at the right moment.

Here’s is a small story I experienced recently-
Someone asked me who was moving from Chicago to Austin that how it is to live in Austin, and I simply asked him- how it is to live in Chicago. He said it’s wonderful there, people are so nice, people are loving and caring. And, my response was you’re going to find similar people in Austin.

Think about it. If you have love in yourself, if you’re loving to unloving, if you’re patient with your progress, you are going to find love and peace everywhere.

Create White Space

At the end of your life, you won’t say- “you would have worked more, rather you would say, you would have RESTED more.”Being busy is NOT always busy.

We are constantly bombarded with new information and interruptions, leaving us very little time to think about ourselves. There is very little to the no-time left to work on our personal needs.

Do you like to make phone calls while driving or standing at the red light so that you can save a few mins?
Are you the one who likes to plan out and Schedule everything every hour?

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Creating white space means- leaving some time free for doing JUST nothing and work on yourself and do things that you really love which is play for you.

I have been practicing creating white space daily at work and in personal life so that I can
☑️Meditate
☑️Create relationships
☑️Take a walk around
☑️Focus on what I want to do in life

White space is necessary to create higher awareness within yourself, connect to yourself and doing mindless activities that give the brain a break to process complex information.
You become calmer and more peaceful and sense a feeling of balance in life. Stopping and taking a pause for a moment is not a failure.

Rather, it gives us time to reflect on what we have gained and where we are headed to.

If you are not busy, you are being judged and not considered successful.

At a workplace, if your calendar is not packed, you are considered small.
I have worked with so many people in the corporate who are just being busy but unproductive. They are just going from one meeting to another without being conscious and not really processing information.

Creating white space in life is a practice and you will have to say NO to people when they demand your time.

How and Why To Be Yourself On Your First Date

  • Are you always successful in getting the first date but finding it difficult to set more dates with her?
  • Do you feel like whatever you do on the first date, she doesn’t want to go out again?
  • Have you ever wondered that why she doesn’t want to go out again even though she was very much interested on the first date?
  • She sucked the tongue out of your mouth on the first date and when you reached out to her later, she either ghosted you or didn’t want to go on second date or further?

Does it frustrate you?

I understand this feeling and I have been in these situations.

Believe me—it can be emotionally draining sometimes when you go out on the first date and don’t get to see her again.

And when you are too much into her, it becomes painful.

You know what— we grow from struggles and pain and let’s honor the journey.

First date is very important to take it to the next level. It’s like the job interview and you got to put your best foot forward

There was a time in my life when I was getting lot of first dates with different women but most of the time it was challenging to see them again.

When I was learning this stuff, I always asked her for the first date even I wasn’t physically attracted to her just because I wanted to learn and get better at it.

What does it mean to be authentic on the dates?

It simply means “Knowing what you want, who you are as a person and being comfortable in your skin”.

When I was new to this dating world—

  • I was trying to be super nice guy to please her. Strong women will feel this and might consider this behavior as a weakness.
  • I often changed my opinion to match hers for her to like me. Honestly, this is not a good idea and might come across as a week behavior and I learned this later.
  • Strong and confident women might test your strength on the first date. If you are discussing any topic, I would suggest you stick to your opinion, and respect her opinion as well.
  • I used to talk a lot about myself instead of asking about her. One woman told me later that- “she liked me as a person. But, I did not ask about her much and it’s a turn off for her”.

Learning? Always ask her good questions to know her. But don’t interrogate her like a robot. Asking questions should also not sound like an interview.

Be enthusiastic and genuine in whatever you ask her.

How to ask her good questions?

Be authentic and ask genuine questions that she might enjoy answering.

Once upon a time, a woman was trying to test me and wanting me to change my opinion. I simply told her—“you are entitled to your opinion, and my opinion is this and that is what I think”.

She later told me that- “she liked my behavior. I am different than other guys because most guys try to change their opinion to please her.”

Never change your opinion to please her. There is a different between pleasing and being who you are. And do not be disrespectful to her either.

I still remember that date when “I asked her to KISS”.

Can you imagine her response?

Her response changed my perspective.

She mentioned that— “As a man, you do not have to ask me to kiss. A man always goes for the kiss”.

Something to think about! Right?

When I was totally new to this dating, I was unsure of what I was looking for and when women asked me this, my response was “we will see, what happens”, and as a result so many women I really liked and who liked me back walked away.

It’s all about being clear about your Intentions. Believe in the Power of Intention.

Successful women are clear about what they want and if you are not sure- you aren’t going to get another chance.

You also need to understand that you don’t have to express your love or liking on the first date. Love takes time and it’s a process.

If you think you are authentic and start expressing your liking, she may perceive you as being needy and pushy.

I remember a Date when I started saying “I like you” after 2 hours.

She was really an awesome girl. She told— “we have just met and how can you like me so soon”.

At that time, I didn’t have any clue and I started justifying.

And the result? She didn’t want to go again on a second date.

Why? It is not because she didn’t like me. She liked me, but she would have thought that I might be needy and pushy later if we decide to date further

However, Not knowing what you are seeking might work with the woman who is not looking for serious long term.

If you meet a woman who is sure of herself what she is looking for, I will suggest that you better be yourself, otherwise she will walk away.

When I had just started dating, I was trying to PLEASE her just to get to like me.

But, it does not end well.

Being yourself gives the vibes of self-reliance. You must be clear about your intentions to attract the kind of woman you deserve.

There is a saying— “when you do not know what you want, you will end up reaching where you don’t want to arrive”.

What I am telling here is that you do not have to play any games.

If you like her, simply tell her about it but do not do too much because “too much, too soon causes rejection”.

When I go on a date now, I clearly tell my intentions when I am asked. If she and I are wanting different things, it’s better not to see them again.

It saves lot of time and energy.

Being authentic will get you the kind of woman you are looking for.

When you show your authenticity and do your best on the first date, you will not have to take the rejection personally.

When we give our best in any area of life, we feel satisfied even if the outcome is not aligned to what we deserve.

The key is to be authentic on the first date and keep trying unless you meet your lovely woman.

Raise the standard of your life!

Raise the standard of your life! Some people are so poor that they only have money. If you drive a small cheap car or if you drive Mercedes, the destination and the road remain the same.

RAISE THE STANDARD_insta

Raise the standard of your life! Some people are so poor that they only have money. In this fast-paced world, most of the people are running after raising the standard of living.

By the standard of living, I mean that having a nice big expensive house, nice cars, and so on. There is nothing wrong with having a good standard of living. But, not at the stake of comprising on your standard of life.

Standard of life means that working on yourself, value relationships with yourself and with others, being physically healthy, emotionally and mentally strong and believing in spirituality.

If you drive a small cheap car or if you drive Mercedes, the destination and the road remain the same.

If you live in a small house or a big house, people living in the house remains the same.

If you travel in Economy class or business class, the destination remains the same.

Don’t get me wrong!

It is great to have such amazing luxurious things. It’s wonderful to have lots and lots of money.

Ask yourself this question!

Is it worth to have all these things and not have the standard of life you deserve?

Back in 2010, when I got my first job after college and up until the mid of 2015, I was making a good salary, but still, I wanted more and more. I was running after money. I was running from one job to another job.

I had all the reasons to be happy, but I wasn’t happy. At that time, I did not know the reason for my unhappiness.

Now, when I look back and think of all those years, I can say that I was just trying to raise my standard of living. As a result, I didn’t focus on eating healthy and I wrecked my emotional and mental health.

In 2014, in a span of 6 months, I ate all the crap and gained about 20 pounds of weight. I was seeking happiness in the food.

I am grateful for the fact that, I realized my mistakes sooner than later, and decided not to live like this. In late 2015, I decided that I will change my physical health forever. Since then I am in the best shape of my life and there is always another level to grow.

Having a great amount of money is awesome. When you have money, you can help those unfortunates who can’t help themselves.

If all you have is money and no health or no relationships or no emotional and mental balance. It is the red sign and you must think about it before it gets too late.

Are you striving hard to earn luxurious things and not working enough to develop your relationships with your spouse or with your loving partner?

How hard are you working on being physically healthy?

Physical health doesn’t mean you have to be muscular.

Physical health is a combination of internal and external health.

Do you eat healthy food to stay fit? When you eat good food, you tend to feel good about yourself.

When you feel good about yourself, you think more positive things and live life in a better way.

I have seen many people saying that they do not have time to cook healthy meals or to go grocery shopping. But, they always have time to eat junk food.

Moderation is the key.

Most people are willing to spend time and money on medicines and visiting doctor than spending the same amount of time and money on eating good food.

Your body is a temple. Your body is a garage to your soul. You got to take care of this body.

I see so many successful people with lots of money, but when I see their physical body, they are totally out of shape. God has gifted us this body and it’s our duty to take care of it.

If you are neglecting your health for so long, take massive action.

You do not have to be a bodybuilder. At least start walking around the block 3-4 times a week and start eating green vegetables.

I started eating healthy in 2015 and since I feel great about my body. I am not a bodybuilder, but I feel good about myself.

If you do not know what healthy food to eat, you can contact me, or you can google. There are tons of options available. I know you can do it.

Never neglect your health.

How are you doing with your emotional and mental health?

Emotional and mental health is one of the pillars of total well-being.

How are you doing in your relationships with your spouse or a loving partner? I am going to write 5 blog series on how to maintain your relationships.

In this modern era, divorces are being very common everywhere.

People spend more time visiting the divorce attorneys than working on their marriage and relationships.

You need to nourish your relationships like a garden. If you don’t give water to the plants, they will die. The Same thing applies to the relationships.

When you buy a new car, do you think that it’s never going to be out of fuel or there is nothing going to be wrong?

What do you do when your car stops functioning properly?

You go to the mechanic to get it fixed. RIGHT?

The Same thing goes with the marriages. When something is not working, we need to work at it, rather than looking for another partner outside.

I know that conflicts happen in relationships and it’s the responsibility of both persons to work at it. The whole purpose of entering a relationship is to give.

There were lots of challenges in my relationship with my ex-girlfriend a long time ago. I can say that we both were responsible to not work at the things in a right healthy way.

I learned the lesson hard way.

Don’t neglect your relationships.

Neglect in one area of life can have an impact on other areas.

Getting better in one area of life will make other areas better.

I started working on my health, then it did spill into my relationships, and then my emotional and mental wellbeing, and now you are reading my post 😊

When you work in all these areas of life, you will have a happy and joyous life for always and forever.

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