- Are you always successful in getting the first date but finding it difficult to set more dates with her?
- Do you feel like whatever you do on the first date, she doesn’t want to go out again?
- Have you ever wondered that why she doesn’t want to go out again even though she was very much interested on the first date?
- She sucked the tongue out of your mouth on the first date and when you reached out to her later, either she ghosted you or didn’t want to go on second date or further?
Does it frustrate you?
I understand this feeling and I have been in these situations.
Believe me- it can be emotionally draining sometimes when you go out on the first date and don’t get to see her again.
And when you are too much into her, it becomes painful.
You know what- we grow from struggles and pain and let’s honor the journey.
First date is very important to take it to the next level. It’s like the job interview and you got to put your best foot forward
There was a time in my life when I was getting lot of first dates with different women but most of the time it was challenging to see them again.
When I was learning this stuff, I always asked her for the first date even I wasn’t physically attracted to her just because I wanted to learn and get better at it.
What does it mean to be authentic on the dates?
It simply means “Knowing what you want, who you are as a person and being comfortable in your skin”.
When I was new to this dating world,
- I was trying to be super nice guy to please her. Strong women will feel this and might consider this behavior as a weakness.
- I often changed my opinion to match hers for her to like me. Honestly, this is not a good idea and might come across as a week behavior and I learned this later.
- Strong and confident women might test your strength on the first date. If you are discussing any topic, I would suggest you stick to your opinion, and respect her opinion as well.
- I used to talk a lot about myself instead of asking about her. One woman told me later that- “she liked me as a person. But, I did not ask about her much and it’s a turn off for her”.
Learning? Always ask her good questions to know her. But don’t interrogate her like a robot. Asking questions should also not sound like an interview.
Be enthusiastic and genuine in whatever you ask her.
How to ask her good questions?
Be authentic and ask genuine questions that she might enjoy answering.
Once upon a time, a woman was trying to test me and wanting me to change my opinion. I simply told her- “you are entitled to your opinion, and my opinion is this and that is what I think”.
She later told me that- “she liked my behavior. I am different than other guys because most guys try to change their opinion to please her.”
Never change your opinion to please her. There is a different between pleasing and being who you are. And do not be disrespectful to her either.
I still remember that date when “I asked her to KISS”.
Can you imagine her response?
Her response changed my perspective.
She mentioned that- “As a man, I do not have to ask her to kiss. A man always goes ahead to kiss if she will kiss him back”.
Something to think about! Right?
When I was totally new to this dating, I was unsure of what I was looking for and when women asked me this, my response was “we will see, what happens”, and as a result so many women I really liked and who liked me back walked away.
It’s all about being clear about your Intentions. Believe in the Power of Intention.
Successful women are clear about what they want and if you are not sure- you aren’t going to get another chance.
You also need to understand that you don’t have to express your love or liking on the first date. Love takes time and it’s a process.
If you think you are authentic and start expressing your liking, she may perceive you as being needy and pushy.
I remember a Date when I started saying “I like you” after 2 hours.
She was really an awesome girl. She told- “we have just met and how can I like her so soon”.
At that time, I didn’t have any clue and I started justifying.
And the result? She didn’t want to go again on a second date.
Why? It is not because she didn’t like me. She liked me, but she would have thought that I might be needy and pushy later if we decide to date further
However, Not knowing what you are seeking might work with the woman who is not looking for serious long term.
If you meet a woman who is sure of herself what she is looking for, I will suggest that you better be yourself, otherwise she will walk away.
When I had just started dating, I was trying to PLEASE her just to get to like me.
But, it does not end well.
Being yourself gives the vibes of self-reliance. You must be clear about your intentions to attract the kind of woman you deserve.
There is a saying- “when you do not know what you want, you will end up reaching where you don’t want to arrive”.
What I am telling here is that you do not have to play any games.
If you like her, simply tell her about it but do not do too much because “too much, too soon causes rejection”.
When I go on a date now, I clearly tell my intentions when I am asked. If she and I are wanting different things, it’s better not to see them again.
It saves lot of time and energy.
Being authentic will get you the kind of woman you are looking for.
When you show your authenticity and do your best on the first date, you will not have to take the rejection personally.
When we give our best in any area of life, we feel satisfied even if the outcome is not aligned to what we deserve.
The key is to be authentic on the first date and keep trying unless you meet your lovely woman.